


Chat Buddies ( ?! )

by TheDyingMoon



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, F/M, Love, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2020-08-23 13:15:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 16,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20243470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDyingMoon/pseuds/TheDyingMoon
Summary: ~ A Vergil X Reader set in a modern AU where gadgets such as cellphones already exist.





	1. Day 1

**Vergil:** If you think you and your boyfriend’s plan would succeed, then I’ am obliged to tell you that you are both fools for ever considering to cross me.

****You**:** Vergil?

****Y**:** OMG! WHAT HAPPENED?! WHAT ARE U TALKING ABOUT?

****V**:** MY FOOLISH AND USELESS BROTHER TOLD ME THAT YOU WANT TO FLIRT WITH ME AND “SHAG” ME ALL NIGHT LONG WHILE HE FILMED ME AT MY MOST VULNERABLE STATE!

**Y:** W - !

**Y:** oohh!

**Y:** oohh so that’s what happened!

**Y:** OOHH!

**V:** (Y/N), STOP THIS FOOLISHNESS THIS INSTANT!

**Y:** 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

**V:** (Y/N), I DEMAND YOU TO CEASE!

**Y:** OMG Vergil! I cant believe you fell for that!

**V:** W -

**V:** What are you implying?

**Y:** Vergil, in the 1st place, Dante and I are not even *that* close.

**Y:** 2nd - why would i flirt w/ u? The whole world know ur married to yamato! Plus! Why would I “shag” u? I dont even like you that much!

**Y:** 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

**V:** Stop. Please.

**Y:** 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

**V:** I’m warning you…

**Y:** omg! I still cant believe you fell for Dante’s prank! Omg! 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

**Y:** and “shag”? So Dante! OMG!!!!!!!

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

**V:** …

\- Vergil Sparda has left the conversation. -


	2. Day 2

**Vergil:** (Y/N).

\- SSSexy(Y/N) joined the conversation. -

**You:** Hi Verg

**Y:** Hru?

**V:** Hru?

**Y:** A sorry. How are you?

**V:** I’m fine. I guess.

**Y:** Hmm

**V:** (Y/N)?

**Y:** Yeah?

**V:** Have I?

**Y:** Have you what?

**V:** About yesterday. Have I offended you?

**Y:** Omg y would u say that?

**V:** …

**Y:** I mean no! Ofc not!

**V:** Ofc?

**Y:** A sorry! I mean, of course not

**V:** I see.

**Y:** And ah

**Y:** Take it easy on Dante will u? U know how he is

**Y:** He’s just playing around

**Y:** Dont take him too srsly

**Y:** I mean! Seriously. Thats it

**V:** Well, about that.

**V:** It is too late.

**Y:** Hmm?

**V:** Mind not what I said.

**Y:** Ahh, sure?

**Y:** 👌

_ **~ A few minutes later ~** _

**V:** (Y/N)?

**Y:** Yeah?

**V:** About what I told you yesterday.

**Y:** It’s ok Verg

**Y:** Dont think too much bout it

**V:** What I’m trying to say is,

**Y:** Hmm?

**V:** About you flirting with me.

**V:** Do you really not intend on doing exactly that?

**Y:** O.O

**Y:** >\\\<

**Y:** XD

**V:** (Y/N)?

**Y:** Oh dont mind me

**Y:** No

**Y:** I dont intend on flirting w/ u 👌

**V:** And,

**Y:** Yes and?

**V:** About “shag”.

**Y:** Oh ur still worried bout that?!

**Y:** Dont u worry Verg. U r safe from being shagged.

**Y:** Besides

**Y:** If I rly wanna shag anyone, it would be someone that I rly like.

**Y:** Like

**Y:** Rly rly like. U know what I’m saying

**Y:** So, yeah! U r safe Verg

**Y:** 😁

**Y:** Verg?

**Y:** Hey

**Y:** Vergil?

**V:** I’ am here.

**V:** I see.

**V:** I shall bother you no more.

**Y:** o

**Y:** kay?

**V:** I bid you a good day.

_ **~ Later that night ~** _

**Patty:** (Y/N)!

**Y:** Hey Patty! Long time no chat!

**P:** Its me

**P:** Dante

**Y:** W - ?!!!!!

**Y:** Y do u have Patty’s phone?! Oh!

**Y:** Ur wifi connection got cut off again!

**Dante:** (Y/N)…

**Y:** Kay, sorry

**Y:** So, what’s up?

**D:** Did u and Verg fight?

**Y:** W - ?

**Y:** No!

**Y:** We’re cool actually

**Y:** You?

**D:** Still healing

**D:** Yamato wounds

**Y:** Did I read that right?!

**Y:** VERGIL STABBED U!

**D:** Happens loads of times

**Y:** U deserve it this time

**D:** Well

**D:** Yeah

**D:** Anyway! Talk to him! Use sweet words! Whatever!

**Y:** Whwhwhwhwait!

**Y:** What is wrong w/ u?!!!!

**Y:** What happened?!!!!!

**D:** Idk! What happened to you two?!!!

**D:** Verg seem off the whole day! Like,

**D:** He can’t focus on the mission at all!

**D:** And when I said ur name he kinda just

**Y:** What?

**D:** Nvm!

**D:** Talk to him!

**Y:** Kay kay! I’ll talk to him!

**Y:** Tomorrow! Im so damn sleepy!

**D:** Oh right! Timezones

**D:** How’s Paris life?

**Y:** Good

**D:** Hey promise me you’ll talk to him

**Y:** OKAY OKAY

**Y:** I promise

**D:** Alright

**D:** Adios

**Y:** Bonne nuit Dante


	3. Day 3

** _~ The next day ~_ **

**You:** I found a love…

**Vergil:** (Y/N)?

**Y:** For me…

**V:** Sorry? I’m afraid for I cannot catch up.

**Y:** Darling just dive right in and follow my lead…

**V:** Wait…

**Y:** Well I found a man beautiful and sweet…

**Y:** I never knew you were the someone waiting for me…

**V:** (Y/N), are you ill?

**Y:** ‘Cause we were just kids when we fell in love not knowing what it was, I will not give you up this time…

**V:** I…

**V:** Oh, my…

**Y:** But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own and in your eyes you’re holding mine…

**Y:** Baby, I’m dancing in the dark with you between my arms, barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song…

**Y:** When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath but you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight.

**Y:** ;)

**V:** …

** _~ A few hours later ~_ **

**Y:** One week in we let the story begin…

**V:** What story?

**Y:** We’re going out on our first date…

**V:** But, (Y/N), we are not even…

**Y:** You and me are thrifty, so go all you can eat fill up your bag and I fill up a plate…

**V:** I’ am not thrifty, if you should know.

**Y:** We talk for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour and how your family is doing okay…

**V:** Let us not even go there…

**Y:** Leave and get in a taxi, then kiss in the backseat tell the driver make the radio play, and I’m singing like…

**V:** Oh!

**Y:** Boy, you know I want your love

**Y:** Your love was handmade for somebody like me, come on now, follow my lead, I may be crazy, don’t mind me…

**V:** But, I don’t think you are insane, at all.

**V:** (Y/N), I…

**Y:** Say, boy, let’s not talk too much, grab on my waist and put that body on me, come on now, follow my lead, come, come on now, follow my lead…

**Y:** I’m in love with the shape of you…

**V:** Is that…

**V:** Is that true?

**Y:** We push and pull like a magnet do…

**V:** Do we?

**Y:** Although my heart is falling too, I’m in love with your body…

**V:** I don’t know. I…

**Y:** And last night you were in my room…

**V**: WAIT! I WAS NOT!

**Y**: And now my bedsheets smell like you…

**V:** I…

**V:** Oh, dear…

**Y:** Every day discovering something brand new, I’m in love with your body…

**Y:** ;)

** _~ Later that night ~_ **

**Y:** When your legs don’t work like they used to before and I can’t sweep you off of your feet…

**V:** Oh, what now?

**Y:** Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love, will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

**V:** … love?

**Y:** And darling I will be loving you 'til we’re 70, and baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23…

**V:** That is…

**V:** Actually sweet and considerate of you.

**Y:** And I’m thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways, maybe just the touch of a hand…

**Y:** Oh me I fall in love with you every single day, and I just wanna tell you I am…

**V:** I do not know what to say…

**Y:** So honey now take me into your loving arms…

**Y:** Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars…

**Y:** Place your head on my beating heart

**Y:** I’m thinking out loud, maybe we found love right where we are…

**V:** (Y/N)…

**Y:** ;)

**Y:** Vergil?

**V:** Yes?

**Y:** Did I make you laugh?

**V:** No.

**Y:** Oh…

**Y:** Okay, I’m sorry…

**V:** You have made me feel warm.

**V:** And calm.

**V:** Thank you.

**Y:** O.O

**Y:** >///<

**V:** (Y/N)?

**Y:** I’m glad.

**Y:** Good night Verg

**V:** Sweet dreams, my lady.

** _~ A few moments later ~_ **

**Dante:** Verg

**D:** Hey Vergil!

**V:** What do you need, scum?

**D:** I heard from (Y/N)!

**D:** She’s wooin ya!

**D:** Wink wink!

**D:** ;)

**D:** You know what to do next!

**V**: What?

**D:** Ah ya know!

**D:** 😘

**D:** ❤

**D:** 👉👌

**D:** 💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

**D:** Wink wink!

**D:** ;)

**V:** …

**D:** Verg?

**D:** Brother?

**D:** Vergil?

**V:** I know what to do.

**V:** I’m in love with the blood of you…

**V:** I’ll slash and stab with the Yamato…

**D:** Wait wait wait!

**D:** R u serious?!

**V:** The floor will be stained with your blood…

**V:** I’m gonna slice your body…

\- Vergil Sparda has left the conversation. -

**D:** R U KIDDING?!

**D:** VERGIL?!

**D:** VERGIL!

**D:**VERBDSJUDHSBchudihhskaochndndjhejqjdbrkfkcleslk jcmlsidjhrhrjhdniaksihreodnejiahrut848w9r7uti jdiwuue6r6e7wirihti4oeiroskqjdudjwownfjaowkhefidjsk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perfect, Shape Of You, and Thinking Out Loud by Ed Sheeran
> 
> ;)


	4. Day 4

** _~ The next day ~_ **

**Vergil:** Come hither, my sparrows, my little arrows.

If a tear or a smile will a man beguile,

If an amorous delay clouds a sunshiny day,

If the step of a foot smites the heart to its root,

‘Tis a marrige ring… makes each fairy a king.

**You:** Ah, hi Verg!

**V:** I bid you a good day.

**Y:** Oh! Thank you.

**Y:** =)

** _~ Later that afternoon ~_ **

**V:** The modest rose puts forth a thorn,

The humble sheep a threat'ning horn,

While the lily white shall in love delight,

Nor a thorn nor a threat stain her beauty bright.

**Y:** That’s so sweet!

**Y:** >\\\<

**V:** I hope you have a wonderful afternoon.

**Y:** Thanks Verg.

**Y:** =D

** _~ Later that evening ~_ **

**V:** Sleep! Sleep! Beauty bright,

Dreaming o'er the joys of night,

Sleep! Sleep! In thy sleep,

Little sorrows sit and weep.

**Y:** Hello again Verg!

**Y:** Umm, at least u know the timezone unlike Dante

**Y:** =D

**V:** Sweet babe in thy face,

Soft desires I can trace,

Secret joys and secret smiles,

Little pretty infant wiles.

**Y:** Is that?

**Y:** It’s Blake isn’t it?

**V:** As thy softest limbs I feel,

Smiles as of the morning steal,

O'er thy cheek, and o'er thy breast,

Where thy little heart does rest.

**V:** O! The cunning wiles that creep,

In thy little heart asleep,

When thy little heart does wake,

Then the dreadful lightnings break.

**V:** From thy cheek and from thy eye,

O'er the youthful harvest nigh,

Infant wiles and infant smiles,

Heaven and Earth of peace beguiles.

**Y:** That’s so lovely Vergil.

**Y:** Thank you so much.

**V:** It is always a pleasure.

**Y:** Umm, so…

**Y:** Touché, I guess?

**V:** Hmm.

**V:** Touché, it is.

**Y:** Bonne nuit Vergil.

**V:** Fais de beaux rêves…

**V:** … mon amour.

** _~ A few moments later ~_ **

**Y:** Kyrie?

**Kyrie:** Hello (Y/N)! It’s so nice to hear from you. 🥰

**K:** How are you doing? Oh it’s evening there rn right?

**Y:** Yeah

**Y:** I’m good thanks

**Y:** Well…

**K:** Yes?

**Y:** Umm

**Y:** How should I say this…

**K:** Something bothering you?

**Y:** Umm, idk

**K:** Hey, tell me. We’re best friends and friends are supposed to help each other, right?

**Y:** Yeah. Thanks Kyrie.

**Y:** Abt that…

**Y:** Umm, u see…

**Y:** It’s a secret. Pls don’t tell anyone.

**K:** No problem. =)

**Y:** Ok

**Y:** It’s about Vergil. I think he’s

**K:** He’s what?

**Y:** Idk I can’t tell. He was sending me sweet poems since morning.

**K:** Oh! I see. Then what happened?

**Y:** And when I said good night, he said

**Y:** Sweet dreams, my love.

**K:** OOOOHHHH!!!!

**Y:** Kyrie?

**Y:** Omg what’s wrong?!

**K:** Nothing! Well, I’m happy for u! From what I’ve heard, Vergil’s not the type of guy who easily conveys his emotions to anyone. You know how closed he is as a person. But him sending poems and saying “my love”?

**Y:** Yeah?

**K:** He is totally in love w/ u!

**K:** Congratulations!

**Y:** Well, umm

**K:** (Y/N), do u like him?

**Y:** Yeah! He’s cool and at least he’s not deep in debt like Dante and he’s strong…

**K:** Oh I see.

**K:** You’re confused.

**Y:** Yes

**K:** Well, only time can tell what will happen next.

**K:** For now, just let him do his thing. Talk to him like how you normally do it. Okay?

**Y:** Right.

**Y:** Thanks Kyrie

**K:** Hey, no problem. =)

**Y:** Good mornight

**K:** Sweet dreams. =)


	5. Day 5

** _~ Two days later ~_ **

**You:** Hey Verg!

**Vergil:** Greetings, my lady.

** _~ A few seconds of SSSexy(Y/N) not replying later ~_ **

**V:** My lady?

**V:** (Y/N)?

**Y:** Listen,

**V:** I’m listening, or rather, I’m reading.

**Y:** Oh yeah! Got me there.

**Y:** So!

**Y:** I’ve just written a book on how to fall down a stair case.

**V:** Alright?

**Y:** It’s a step-by-step guide.

**Y:** ;)

** _~ A few seconds later of Vergil Sparda not replying ~_ **

**Y:** Ah sorry that was so lame.

**Y:** 😅

**V:** In fact, I don’t trust stairs.

**V:** They’re always up to something.

**Y:** 0.0

**Y:** !!!

**Y:** 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

**Y:** Really, Vergil? Dad jokes?

**V:** Well, you got a better one?

**Y:** Hmm let’s see…

**Y:** Knock knock!

**V:** Who’s there?

**Y:** Cow says

**V:** Cow says who?

**Y:** No, a cow says mooooooo!!!!!

**V:** Oh! I see.

**Y:** Okay, your turn Verg.

**V:** Hmm…

** _~ A few moments later ~_ **

**V:** Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

**Y:** Oh my……….

**Y:** >\\\<

**Y:** XD

**V:** It is now your turn.

**V:** 5

**V:** 4

**Y:** Wait! Wait! Ahh…..

**V:** You started this, mon amour…

**Y:** Ahhhhh!!!!!

**Y:** Ok!

**Y:** When my friend’s wife was in labor, he would tell jokes to keep her mind off the pain, but this didn’t amuse her much.

**V:** And why is that?

**Y:** I guess it was the delivery.

**V:** I see.

**Y:** Not even a laugh?!!!!!

**Y:** >\\\<

**Y:** Ok! Your turn

**V:** What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? 

**Y:** Wait let me guess…

**Y:** Nacho cheese?

**V:** Hmm.

**Y:** Hahaha! Stahp Vergil! Stahp!!!!! That’s not funny at all!!!!!

**V:** Oh, but I can sense you are laughing.

**V:** And it is your turn, mon amour.

**V:** 5

**V:** 4

**Y:** Ahh, have mercy on me Verg! Wait…

**V:** I’ am waiting.

** _~ A few moments later ~_ **

**Y:** Ok!

**Y:** Once my dog ate all the scrabble tiles. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house.

**V:** That is so disturbing.

**Y:** 😨

**V:** It looks like I won this round.

**Y:** 😵

**Y:** I’ll win next time, mark my words

**V:** Hahaha! Now that is funny.

**V:** You will never win against me…

**V:** …mon amour

**Y:** No! I challenge you! I’ll win for sure!

**V:** Now, I feel motivated.

**Y:** >\\\<

**V:** So, what’s my prize, hmm?

**Y:** Ah, I’ll think about it.

**V:** I’ll wait for my prize, mademoiselle.

**Y:** Ok

**Y:** I’ll call you tomorrow

**V:** Do not call me tomorrow.

**Y:** What?! I thought you want a prize?!

**V:** Call me Dad.

**Y:** W - ?!!!!

**Y:** Dad jokes again huh

**Y:** That took me by surprise

**Y:** 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

**Y:** I had so much fun chatting w/ u

**V:** The feeling is mutual.

**Y:** Good night Vergil

**Y:** I mean “Dad”

**Y:** XD

**V:** Good night, mon amour.

** _~ The next day, SSSexy(Y/N) called Vergil Sparda as planned. Unbeknownst to the two, an unwanted and mischievous “dead weight” was listening to their conversation. ~_ **


	6. Day 6

** _~ Two days later ~_ **

**Nero:** Kyrie

**Kyrie:** Nero? How did the mission go?

**N:** Its ok. Were on our way home.

**K:** Wait, is something bothering you?

**N:** Actually

**N:** Its abt Vergil

**K:** Nero!

**N:** I mean Dad!

**N:** Yeah its abt him

**K:** Did you two get into a fight?

**N:** No

**N:** Not that

**N:** I mean…

**N:** Yesterday before I left for the mission

**N:** I saw him talking on the phone w/ someone

**K:** Yes, and?

**N:** And hes

**N:** Ahhh……

**K:** Nero?

**K:** Are you okay? What’s wrong?

**N:** Whats he doing now?

**K:** Wait for a moment, I’ll check.

** _~ A few moments later ~_ **

**K:** He’s in the garden

**N:** Ok?

**K:** That’s it.

**N:** Thats it?

**K:** Nero what are you trying to say?

**N:** Kyrie I know he spends a lot of time in the garden

**N:** What I mean is

**N:** Is he doing something else other than chilling there alone?

**N:** Kyrie?

**N:** Answer me pls

**K:** He’s talking to someone on the phone.

**N:** Again?!

**K:** Nero it’s only completely normal that he talks to someone on the phone every once in a while.

**N:** And if its the same person hes talking w/?

** _~ A few seconds later ~_ **

**N:** Kyrie? Do u know something?

**N:** Kyrie

**N:** Pls I know u do

**K:** I do.

**K:** But, please. This is a secret. Don’t you ever tell this to anyone!

**N:** Yes

**K:** Promise me!

**N:** Ok ok! I promise!

**K:** It’s (Y/N). He’s in love with (Y/N).

**N:** asdfghjkl

**N:** I KNEW IT! HES SMILING AND BLUSHING LIKE A TEENAGE IDIOT WHEN HES ON THE PHONE!!!!!!!!!!! ITS LIKE HIGH SCHOOL PUPPY LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!! ITS FUCKING GROSS!!!!!!!!!!!

**K:** NERO! YOUR PROMISE!

**N:** OK OK I WONT TELL ANYONE! RELAX!

**K:** Okay…

**N:** Ill see u later

** _~ Later that day ~_ **

**Nico:** Yo yo Lady!

**Lady:** What is it? I’m busy rn!

**N:** It’s Vergil!

**L:** What about him?

**N:** He’s in love! I N L O V E !!!!!!!!!

**N:** ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

**L:** WHAT?! W/ WHO?!

**N:** (Y/N)!!!!!

**L:** WHAT?! Okay, hol up a min

** _~ A few moments later ~_ **

**L:** Ok, pls explain.

**N:** So, I found out from Nero that Vergil’s been talkin to (Y/N) on the phone and smilin like a maniac

**L:** You found out?

**N:** Yeah

**L:** From Nero?

**N:** OKAY! OKAY!

**N:** I snatched psycho’s phone and read Kyrie’s message

**L:** Nico that’s rude!

**N:** Well, too late! The secret’s out!

**L**: What’s Vergil doing again?

**N:** Smilin like a maniac!

**L:** OH SHIT! DON’T TELL ME! HE’S!!!!!!!!!!

**N:** I KNOW!!!!!!!!! AND NERO SAYS ITS GROSS!!!!!!!!!!

**N:** 👉👌

**N:** 💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

**L:** OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**L:** I KNEW IT!!!!!!!! I KNEW THERE’S SOMETHING OFF ABOUT HIM WHEN (Y/N) LEFT DEVIL MAY CRY TO GO TO FRANCE!!!!!!!

**N:** TOTALLY!!!!!!!!!

**N:** \- sends a naughty gif -

**L:** 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

**L:** Oh!!!!

**L:** Trish must know this!!!!!

**L:** brb

**N:** 👌

** _~ A few moments later ~_ **

**L:** Hey, Trish.

**Trish:** If this is about the blouse then I’m afraid I can’t let you have it now. I’m sorry.

**L:** Not the blouse!

**L:** Listen!

**L:** Vergil is doing u know what while thinking of (Y/N)

**T:** I’m sorry, what?

**L:** Oh come on! Don’t act like u don’t know!

**L:** 👉👌

**L:** 💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

**T:** Are you sure?

**L:** Totally! Nico told me Nero told her that Kyrie saw him! And she said it’s gross!

**T:** OMG

**L:** I KNOW!!!!

**T:** Wait wait wait

**T:** Are you sure about this?

**L:** Totally 101.99% legit!

**T:** I’ll just confirm it

**T:** Brb

**L:** K

** _~ A few seconds later ~_ **

**T:** Dante.

**Dante:** Wait wait wait Trish! I haven’t earned enough to pay. You can come again tomorrow.

**D:** Adios!!!

**T:** Listen to me, pizza head!

**T:** Is Vergil obsessed with (Y/N)?

**D:** Oh! That!

**D:** Of course he is!

**T:** How can you tell?

**D:** Well he’s my brother, señorita. I can tell when he wants to shag someone.

**T:** Shag.

**T:** Really, Dante?

**D:** Yeah

**D:** Yknow sometimes he talks in his dreams, like,

**D:** (Y/N)! (Y/N)! That feels so good! Ah! Oh! Like that.

**D:** 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

**T:** … okay?

**D:** Eh why are u asking anyway?

**T:** That exactly.

**T:** It seems Vergil is in need of good, ah, shagging.

**T:** Lady told me that Nico told her that Nero told her about Kyrie’s message.

**D:** Whoa whoa whoa! Come again?

**T:** Your twin brother has been fantasizing about (Y/N) night and day.

**D:** Ah

**D:** I’m not even surprised

**D:** You mean Kyrie caught Verg in the act?

**T:** Seems like it.

**T:** And she said it’s gross.

**D:** Oh mi lord of heavens above.

**D:** That poor man is needy as hell!

**T:** Ah, Dante?

**D:** I know! I have a brilliant idea!

**T:** What are you planning?

**D:** ;)

**T:** Dante?

**T:** Pizza head?

**T:** UGH!!!!

**T:** OKAY I’M TOTALLY NOT AMUSED BY BEING SEENZONED HERE!

**T:** DANTE!!!

** _~ A few seconds later ~_ **

**T:** AAAAHHHH!!!!!!

**T:** I HATE YOU!!!!!

\- TheBewitchingDevilMiss has left the conversation. -

** _~ What in the fiery armpits of hell did just happen to today’s totally brainless conversation between adult idiots? Will Kyrie realize the gravity and consequence of letting Nero in on “the secret”? And, finally, what is pizza head Dante planning for Vergil Sparda and SSSexy(Y/N)? Find out,… on the next chapter! ~_ **


	7. Day 7

** _~ The next day ~_ **

\- TheLegendarySavageDante added TheBewitchingDevilMiss to the conversation. -

\- TheLegendarySavageDante added MyNameIsLady to the conversation. -

\- TheLegendarySavageDante added VirtuosoGoldstein.45 to the conversation. -

\- TheLegendarySavageDante added BangBangBang007 to the conversation. -

\- TheLegendarySavageDante added KyrieEleison to the conversation. -

\- TheLegendarySavageDante changed the name of the group to HelpVergilGetMotivatedForAShag. -

**Trish:** What is this now?

**Lady:** Ask Dante

**Nero:** Wait a sec! Kyrie and I practically live together!

**Kyrie:** Nero what is this?

**Kyrie:** Dante?

**N:** O.O

**N:** Oh no…..

**N:** Nononononononononononononononono

**K:** Nero?

**N:** I have a bad feeling abt this

**K:** What do you mean?

**Nico:** What he says

**Dante:** Greetings earthlings!

**L:** And the idiot rolls in

**D:** Hey!

**D:** That’s just the introduction!

**T:** What are you planning pizza head?

**D:** Were gonna help Verg get that shag partner!

**K:** Shag?!

**Ne:** We’ll talk about that later Kyrie

**T:** I’m pretty sure Vergil and (Y/N) would not appreciate this

**D:** Whats that? Vergil’s gonna thank me and more for this!

**D:** Werent you the one who told me that my brother’s fantasizing abt (Y/N) night and day?

**K:** What?

**T:** Well, yes! But Lady told me that.

**L:** Night and day? I only I said he’s thinking about (Y/N) while doing the u know what!

**K:** You know what.

**Ne:** Kyrie, ah….

**L:** Wait. Nico was the one who told me that!

**K:** Nico.

**Ni:** Yes?

**K:** How did this happen?

**D:** Kyrie?

**Ni:** Ahh….

**Ne:** Sweetie….

**Ne:** I can explain…….

**K:** You told her.

**Ne:** I DIDNT!!!! NICO SNATCHED MY PHONE!!!!

**K:** YOU. TOLD. HER.

**Ni:** 😅

**Ni:** Ahh……

**Ni:** Sorry….

**K:** AND YOU. TOLD. EVERYONE.

**D:** Kyrie werent u the one who saw Vergil doing the thing while thinking of (Y/N)?

**T:** Yeah, and you said it’s gross.

**K:** …

\- KyrieEleison has left the group. -

**Ne:** Oh nonononono………

**Ne:** asdfghjkl

**Ne:** Brb

** _~ A few moments later ~_ **

**T:** Nice move pizza head.

**L:** You made Kyrie cry!

**D:** What?! I’m just the cupid here! Nico was the one who snatched Deadweight’s phone!

**Ni:** Hey I’m intrigued! Psycho’s hiding somethin interesting and I was right

**Ne:** Theres nothing interesting in it

**Ne:** And I only said hes smiling like an idiot while talking to (Y/N) on the phone! Nothing else!

**Ne:** How did that get so convoluted?!

**Ni:** 😨

**L:** 😱

**T:** …

**D:** Dont look at me!

**Ne:** 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️

**Ne:** Now Kyrie is really pissed! She thinks you consider her untrustworthy and a pervert

**T:** I wonder who’s fault it is? No I’m definitely not looking at you Nico and Lady!

**T:** 😡

**Ni:** 😅

**L:** 😵

**D:** Well the devil’s out of the bag now! No sense in going back! We must get those 2 together!

**Ne:** Yeah! AND YOU JUST CALLED ME DEADWEIGHT!

**Ne:** AGAIN!

**D:** Whoa! Easy kid! Only a joke nothin else

**Ni:** Whatever ur planning there Im in!

**Ni:** How do we get those 2 together?

**L:** And let’s not forget (Y/N) is in Paris

**D:** Eh! Piece of cake! Yamato could take care of that

**T:** You know if Vergil really likes (Y/N) that much he shouldve used the Yamato to get to her in the 1st place.

**T:** Just saying.

**D:** Oh ya got a point there

**L:** We have to at least convince Vergil to get to her w/o actually annoying the hell out of him.

**Ni:** Hey psycho!

**Ne:** What?!

**Ni:** Stop bitchin and think of a way!

**Ni:** How do we convince Vergil to go to her?

**Ne:** IDK! Why dont u tell him?!

**Ni:** WHAT?! I DONT WANNA GET STABBED! IM NOT DANTE! I CANT REGENERATE!

**T:** Maybe we should just let them be.

**D**: No can do! I know my brother could get pretty stubborn. He would not admit something until its too late.

** _~ A few awkward moments later ~_ **

**D:** Guys? Hey guys? Where you at?

**T:** Right here.

**L:** Still here.

**Ni:** Just hangin round

**Ne:** Brb

**Ne:** Gonna check on Kyrie

**D:** 👍

**Ni:** Yeah maybe we should really convince Vergil this time

**T:** Without him suspecting us

**L:** We should all think of something then

**D:** Ok we’ll do that then go back here if an idea comes up

**D:** Capisce?

**T:** Yes

**L:** Yup

**Ni:** Cool

** _~ What are these idiots planning now? Could they come up with an effective way that would not turn all of them into a kebab? And most importantly: will Vergil finally get that shag partner of his? Find out,… on the next chapter! ~_ **


	8. Day 8

** _~ The next day ~_ **

\- MyNameIsLady added TheBewitchingDevilMiss to the conversation. -

\- MyNameIsLady added SSSexy(Y/N) to the conversation. -

\- MyNameIsLady changed the name of the group to All The Single Ladies❤💍❤ -

**You:** Hi hi Trish and Lady!

**Y:** Long time no chat! 😊

**Lady:** Hey sexy! How’s Paris treating you?

**Y:** Good

**Trish:** I hope no man bugs you there

**Y:** Hahaha! Nope! No bugs here.XD

**Y:** Well maybe a little 😅

**T:** What happened?

**Y:** They didn’t stand a chance ;)

**L:** Good!

**L:** Because we’re going on a man hunt!

**Y:** Ahh…… I’m sorry?

**T:** What she says.

**L:** We just acquired enough from our last mission

**L:** Trish and I are going to Paris!

**L:** Isn’t that exciting?

T: We’re going on a vacation away from the guys in the meantime.

Y: Hahaha! You shouldve told me you’re going here for a vacation

Y: Not for man hunts. That’s just

Y: Idk

Y: Barbaric?

Y: 😅

L: Well, we’re really planning on doing that

Y: 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

Y: YOU’RE NOT KIDDING?!

L: Come on girl it would be so much fun!

L: We’re tired of looking at Morrison and Dante

T: And some Demons

L: Yeah!

L: And I heard french men are so

**L:** 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

L: You know what I mean

**Y:** Ahhh**, **well…

**Y:** You know what** y**ou can go here and I let you do the man hunting yourselves

T: Aww don’t wanna join us?

L: Didn’t you miss us?

T: 😥

Y: No no no! Of course I missed you guys so much!

Y: You know if it weren’t for that I wouldn’t have left

L: Yeah

L: How’s it going?

Y: I’m fine

L: You sure?

Y: 👌

L: Come on (Y/N)! Life is short

L: Get yourself a nice handsome boyfriend

T: And a tall one

L: And one who’s not deep in debt like Dante

T: Or one who talks poetry

L: Oh oh! And one who loves roses or gardens in general

T: Or a well dressed and classy gentleman

L: Or a walking library

T: Or one who has fine taste in music

L: Or one who have sleek moves in battle

T: Or one who have sleek moves IN the dancefloor

L: Or one who have sleek moves IN bed

L: 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Y: Wait wait wait………

**Y:** Guys**, ar**e you somehow** t**alking about Vergil?

L: Whoa there!!!!!

L: We’re not saying it’s Vergil!

T: Or if you want

T: We can bring him along with us

L: Yeah!

L: Just him! No Dante

Y: Guys…….

T: Lady and I can do our man hunt

T: And you stay with Vergil

**Y:** And**?**

L: Oh you! Don’t tell us you don’t know!

Y: The what?

L: THE THING!

Y: What thing?

T: (Y/N) don’t act like you don’t know

Y: What?

**L:** 👉👌

**L:** 💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

**L:** 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

**Y:** Oh. That.

**L:** YEAH!!!!!!!

**Y:** There’s more to a relationship than carnal pleasure!

**Y:** And Vergil is more than that

**Y:** Vergil likes Japanese food you know

**Y:** He knows how to cook and he can play the violin and the piano

**Y:** He loves Paganini and Chaplin too

**Y:** And William Blake

**Y:** And he can speah french and spanish and italian

**Y:** And he’s kind and gentle and understanding

**T:** Wow

**L:** Now I’ve seen everything….

**L:** 😮😮😮😮😮😮😮

**T:** Well, (Y/N)

**T:** It’s just a suggestion

**L:** Why? Don’t you want to be with Vergil?

**L:** He’s a nice guy

**Y:** I know but

**T:** But?

**Y:** Ahhh, idk

**T:** I see

**T:** Let us know when you’ve changed your mind

**L:** We’ll wait for you!

**Y:** Okay.

** _~ At the same time when the ladies were having their conversation ~_ **

\- TheLegendarySavageDante added BangBangBang007 to the conversation. -

\- TheLegendarySavageDante added Vergil Sparda to the conversation. -

\- TheLegendarySavageDante changed the name of the group to ItsRainingMen!!!💪👊🕶 -

**Vergil:** What is the meaning of this?

**Dante:** Hey brother!

**Nero:** Dante tell him already!

**N:** Kyrie’s gonna kill me if she finds out I’m in another group like this again!

**D:** Relax kid! You are in good hands

**V:** Tell me what exactly?

**D:** We’re going on a trip to Paris! My treat!

**D:** My last client paid me real good for getting rid of the death scissors in her home!

**V:** Dante…

**V:** Was that the only thing you did to the client?

**D:** Whoah whoah whoah!

**D:** These hands are clean

**D:** Anyway, we’re going there as soon as we all get ready!

**V:** Why Paris?

**D:** 😱

**D:** Brother!

**D:** Don’t you know a thing about french women?!

**V:** What do I have to know about them?

**N:** 🙄

**N:** Leave me out of that will ya?

**D:** It’s the guns!

**V:** Guns.

**D:** Ah you know!

**D:** 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

**D:** 💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

**V:** Why am I not surprised…

**D:** And ur coming w/ me!

**N:** Hey!

**N:** I said leave me out!

**V:** I think it’s probably best if I leave.

**D:** Nonononono!

**D:** Wait!

**D:** Nero could stay here w/ Kyrie or bring her with us if he wants

**D:** I’ll hunt for my own french babe

**D:** And you brother dear

**D:** You could stay with Miss Sexy Babe!

**D:** *wink wink!

_ **~ A few seconds later ~** _

**D:** Hey Verg you arent leaving us on seenzone here right?

**V:** Why do I have the feeling that you are planning something insidious?

**D:** 😮😱

**D:** Whoah!

**D:** Never!

**D:** Why would I?

**D:** Am I not a good brother to ya?

**V:** No.

**D:** Pfff!

**D:** Anyway!

**D:** Nero will stay at the hotel

**D:** I will find my french babe

**V:** You are just repeating yourself

**V:** … scum.

**D:** Why? Don’t you wanna be w/ (Y/N)?

**D:** She’s really nice

**D:** 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

**V:** What are you trying to imply?

**D:** Aww come on!

**D:** DONT TELL ME UR NOT AFFECTED BY HER LOOKS!

**D:** HER SEDUCTIVE VOICE!

**D:** HER THICCNESS!

**V:** … thiccness.

**D:** Yeah! You know the drill Verg!

**D:** 👉👌

**D:** 💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

**D:** *it’s shag time!

**D:** ;)

**N:** You are disgusting

**N:** 🙄

**D:** Shut it deadweight

**N:** WHAT DID YOU SAY?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**V:** If you must really know, true beauty could never be measured by what the eyes could see.

**V:** (Y/N)…

**V:** … is more than what your meager brain could fathom of.

**V:** Her voice is not “seductive”.

**D:** 😱

**V:** When she sings, she sounds like an angel.

**D:** Okay…

**V:** She does not only sound like an angel, she looks like one, as well.

**N:** Okay I know where this is going……

**V:** She’s not “thiccness”. She is grace.

**V:** She is majesty.

**V:** She is purity.

**V:** She is humility.

**V:** She is innocence.

**V:** She is gentleness incarnate.

**V:** She is…

**V:** … passion.

**D:** Passion!

**D:** Exactly!

**D:** ;)

**V:** And don’t you dare spam me with those “shag” emojis of yours, or else your blood shall spill on the ground soil once more.

**D:** Ok! Ok!

**D:** But!

**D:** Dont you wanna at least see her?

**V:** Well, I…

**D:** Ok! That’s a yes!

**D:** Nero pack your bags!

**V:** DANTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**V:** I’M WARNING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**D:** 😱

**D:** Relax Verg!

**D:** Ok

**D:** We’ll give you time to think about it.

**D:** Adios!

**N:** 🙄

** _~ Later that night on HelpVergilGetMotivatedForAShag group chat ~_ **

**D:** Ladies how did it go?

**T:** She’s still confused.

**L:** She is! But at least we found out that she clearly likes Vergil!

**L:** And that she’s!

**L:** 😱

**D:** What is it?

**T:** Ah here we go again…..

**N:** Hey, she’s what?

**L:** You know!

**L:** 🍒

**D:** 😱

**N:** 😱

**Nico:** 😱

**Ne**: Oh hi Nico

**Ni:** Hey! Sorry I’m late but,…

**Ni:** 😱

**L:** 😱

**D:** 😱

**Ne:** 😱

**Ni:** 😏

**L:** 😏

**D:** 😏

**Ne:** 🙄

**T:** 🙄

**T:** What about on your side pizza head?

**D:** Eh, he’s so obvious.

**D:** He wants to shag her

**T:** Oh my goodness…..

**Ne:** Wait is that what he said?

**D:** But he’s so stubborn! Doesn’t want to admit that he wants to see her!

**L:** (Y/N) too.

**D:** We need a plan B

**D:** We have to get those 2 to admit their feelings already!

**L**: How do we do that?

**D:** We need more spice!

**Ni:** 😮

**Ne:** What is it Nico?

**Ni:** 😏

**T**: Why do I have a bad feeling about this?

**Ni:** I think I have the most wonderful fool - proof plan!

**Ni:** 😎

**D:** Ok!

**D:** Let’s hear it.

** _~ The ( no ) braincells have finally made their move! Will they be able to get Vergil Sparda and SSSexy(Y/N) together? Is their budget really enough for a trip to France? And most importantly,… what is this wonderful fool - proof plan that VirtuosoGoldstein.45 was talking about? Find out,… on the next chapter! ~_ **


	9. Day 9

** _~ The next day ~_ **

**You**: Vergil?

**Vergil:** Staying up late?

**Y:** Ah yes

**V:** Isn’t it way past midnight there right now?

**V:** Why are you still awake?

**Y:** I can’t sleep

**Y:** 😖

**V:** Oh, I see.

**V:** Isn’t that harmful for your health, though?

**Y:** …yes

**V:** Have you taken your medicine?

**Y:** I have

**Y:** Yes

**V:** How are you feeling right now?

**Y:** Better

**V:** Hmm…

**Y:** Hmm?

**V:** Have you heard about the tale behind Paganini’s talent?

**Y:** Actually

**Y:** No I havent

**V:** You see…

**V:** Paganini was way ahead of his time as a musician. His work was considered to be revolutionary, and his technique was very different and unique compared to other musicians of his time.

**Y:** Wow

**Y:** He must be a real rockstar of his era

**V:** He was, actually. Did you know that women used to throw their underwear at him during his concerts?

**Y:** No way!

**Y:** You’re joking!

**Y:** Wait

**Y:** You’re not….

**V:** I wasn’t.

**Y:** 😱

**Y:** Dante would be so jealous!

**V:** He would.

**V:** Going back,

**V:** Paganini’s work on the Caprices, particularly the 24th, was considered to be the most difficult piece of violin solo ever created. Some say that to play it means you have to be inhuman.

**Y:** But you can play it!

**Y:** Oh…………

**V:** Yes, (Y/N)?

**Y:** Nothing! 😅

**Y:** Go on

**V:** There was a rumor that his mother, who was dead set on turning her son into a musical virtuoso, made a pact with the Devil and sold her soul.

**Y:** 😱

**Y:** Is that true?

**V:** No one has proven it. Although…

**Y:** Although?

**V:** Paganini refused to have his last rites, and he was not buried on consecrated ground because of it. Also, there was some sort of clue in his violin. It is said that the demonic contract was etched there.

**Y:** Where is the violin now?

**V:** The Il Cannone is on display in Genoa, Italy.

**Y:** That’s amazing…

**Y:** Verg, can you tell me another story?

**V:** Are you sure? Doesn’t this kind of tale keep you up at night?

**Y:** I’m sure! I’ll be fine. 🥰

**V:** Alright, then. As you wish.

**V:** Have you heard about the lady in the mirror at midnight?

**Y:** 😨

**Y:** I haven’t! Pls tell me….

**V:** If you wish to find out who your soulmate is, you only have to stand in front of a mirror in a dark room while holding a candle,

**V:** On the eve of the 1st of May.

**Y:** Midnight of May 1 huh?

**V:** Indeed.

**V:** You only have to fervently and sincerely wish for the lady in the mirror to let you see into the future. If done properly, she will show you the reflection of your soulmate.

**Y:** Wow! But….

**Y:** Why May 1?

**V:** Because it is said that the lady only appears on that day.

**Y:** And if one did it on another day?

**V:** Then, a Demon shall appear instead and claim their soul.

**Y:** 😱

**Y:** That’s very interesting

**Y:** Tell me another one 😊

**V:** I will,

**V:** Tomorrow.

**Y:** Aww!

**Y:** 😥

**V:** (Y/N), you have to go to sleep.

**V:** I will tell you another tale tomorrow.

**Y:** Ok…

**Y:** Bonne nuit, Vergil.

**V:** Fais de beaux rêves, mon amour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trivia Time!
> 
> 1\. Niccolo Paganini’s 24th Caprice is one of V’s taunts in the game.
> 
> 2\. The Lady In The Mirror tale by Vergil is an actual myth from the Philippines. ( Please, for the love of God, do not try it! 😱😱😱 )
> 
> 3\. May 1 is, of course, V’s canon birthday.


	10. Day 10

**_~ The next day ~_**  
  
You: Hey Verg 😊

Vergil: You're early.

V: Good evening to you, dear.

Y: 🤩

Y: 🥴

Y: 🥰

Y: ☺️

V: Are you alright? Do you require assistance for something?

Y: I came back for more tales................

Y: 🥰

V: Oh! Well...

Y: Well?

V: I...

Y: You....?

V: I did not expect you would be back for more.

Y: 😨

Y: 😥

V: (Y/N)? Are you alright?

Y: I'm fine. Don't mind me Vergil

Y: Good night to you, then...

V: Wait!

Y: ?

V: Stay. Please.

Y: Oh! It's ok. You must be really busy anyway. And I must be annoying and bothering you...

V: No...

Y: It's cool!

Y: Good night! =)

V: I merely jest.

Y: Ah, sorry?

V: I have some more tales for you this evening.

Y: 😮

Y: Really? Then.....

Y: May I stay?

V: Of course, you may.

Y: 🤩🥰☺️

V: Haha! Well...

V: Have you heard of the man who found a magic lamp?

Y: You mean Aladdin?

V: Not him but, this man is much more interesting.

V: You see, a Genie resides within the magic lamp, and when the man rubs it, the creature rises up from the inside. The Genie, then, grants him three wishes.

Y: What did he wish for?

V: First, he wishes for wealth. The Genie grants it. Then, he wishes for fame. The creature gives it. However, for his third wish, he asks the Genie to make him popular and irresistable among the women.

Y: Hmm Verg?

V: Hmm?

Y: That man sounds like Dante.

V: Hmm, maybe.

Y: So... did the Genie grant his 3rd wish?

V: It did!

Y: Oh! I bet he's a super popular superstar now!

V: Not quite.

V: The Genie has turned him into a bar of chocolate.

Y: 😮

Y: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Y: Wait! That's!

Y: SERIOUSLY?

V: Seriously.

Y: Oh! I can't! I....

Y: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

V: Want to hear another one?

Y: Yes pls!!!!

V: Alright.

V: Since you mentioned my brother...

V: You know how Dante loves his pizza, right?

Y: Yup

V: And you know how deep he is in debt, right?

Y: Absolutely.

V: You see, there was a time when he was really hungry that he had to order another box of pizza. Without payment.

Y: Wait wait wait

Y: How did he pay for that?!

V: He didn't.

Y: But!

V: He ambushed the pizza delivery man outside the Devil May Cry building.

Y: WHAT?????!!!!!

V: So the poor man would be "late" and the pizza he ordered would be "free".

Y: OH MY GOD!!!!!!

Y: HAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!

Y: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

V: Well, well...

V: Looks like someone is rolling on the floor laughing.

V: Well, I'm glad that you enjoyed tonight's tales.  
  
**_~ A few moments later ~_**  
  
Y: Umm, Vergil?

V: Hmm?

Y: I did the thing. Only last night.

V: Wh -

V: WHAT THING?

Y: Ah, you know...

Y: The thing...

V: WHAT?!

V: WHO?!

V: WHAT?!

V: (Y/N), WHAT DID YOU DO?!

V: TALK TO ME, PLEASE!

Y: 😅

Y: Well, it's May 1 and...

Y: I did the thing with the lady in the mirror last midnight.

V: ...

V: Oh, I...

V: WAIT!

V: WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!

V: WHAT HAPPENED?!

Y: Umm...

Y: Actually, nothing happened. It's not real after all... 😅

V: (Y/N)...

V: Promise me you will not try something as reckless as that anymore.

Y: Vergil, it's just for fun....

V: Promise. Me.

Y: 😨

Y: I promise.  
  
_** ~ A few seconds later ~**_  
  
Y: Vergil, I'm so sorry for scaring you. I swear I didn't mean to. Please forgive me. 😥

Y: Are you mad at me? 😥

V: (Y/N), I'm not mad.

V: I'm only trying to calm down. Do not worry.

V: Well...

V: At least that's one myth debunked.

Y: It is

V: Close your eyes. Go to sleep. You need some rest.

Y: Ok

Y: Good night  
  
_**~ A few seconds later in the All The Single Ladies❤💍❤ group chat ~**_  
  
Y: Guys?

Y: Anyone?

Lady: Yeah?

Y: I did this thing. This lady in the mirror thing...

L: What lady?

Y: The one that shows you who your soulmate is.

L: Oh, and I bet you saw Vergil.  
  
_**~ A few awkward seconds later ~**_  
  
L: Wait. Don't tell me you actually saw Vergil?!

Y: I did.

L: Omyged

L: Omytdg

L: MY HABFS

L: Fuck

L: MY HANDS!

L: DID YOU TELL HIM?!

Y: ... no

L: WHY?!

Y: Ahhh

Y: You know, I'm starting to think that he's not interested in me

L: GIRL WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!

Y: Idk

Y: Well I think he likes me but, idk...

L: You okay girl?

Y: ... yeah 

L: Heh, just go to sleep. You'll think clearer in the morning.

Y: Ok. Night

L: K  
  
_** ~ Later in the HelpVergilGetMotivatedForAShag group chat ~**_  
  
L: LISTEN TO ME

L: GUYS LISTEN TO ME!

Dante: Whoah Lady! Chill! What happened to you?

L: (Y/N) thinks that Vergil is not interested in her!

D: WHAT?! That's a lie! He's such a huge sucker for her. Doesn't she have any idea?!

L: No! We need that plan B now! If she won't admit her feelings then it's up to us to urge her to do it!

D: Plan B it is!

D: Hey, Nico, I know you're there!  
Nico: Yeah?

D: See that? Plan B needs to be executed as soon as possible!

N: Alright! Alright!

N: On it!

Trish: Hey what did I miss?

D: Nothin

D: ;)

T: Whatever....

_ **~ TO BE CONTINUED ~** _


	11. Day 11

** _~ The next day ~_ **

\- VirtuosoGoldstein.45 added Vergil Sparda in the conversation. -

\- VirtuosoGoldstein.45 added TheBewitchingDevilMiss to the conversation. -

\- VirtuosoGoldstein.45 added MyNameIsLady to the conversation. -

\- VirtuosoGoldstein.45 added BangBangBang007 to the conversation. -

\- VirtuosoGoldstein.45 added SSSexy(Y/N) to the conversation. -

\- VirtuosoGoldstein.45 changed the name of the group to 😈Devils May Cry😈 -

Vergil: What is this foolishness?

You: Hi Vergil

V: Greetings

Nico: You’re gonna be dead

V: Pardon me?

\- VirtuosoGoldstein.45 added SoLong&GoodnightVicky05 to the group. -

Vicky: Hello, guys! ❤❤❤

Trish: Hey Vicky

Lady: Hi there! Good to finally have you here.

Vi: Aww! 🥰🥰🥰

Vi: Thank YOU for having me.

Ve: Who is this unknown woman, Nico?

N: Ah! 😅

N: She is Dante’s apprentice. Treat her well!

N: Hey girl! Introduce yourself

Vi: Oh! I’m sorry for barging in just like that.

Vi: My name is Vicky Helena, a new member of the Devil May Cry.

Y: Hi Vicky! It’s so nice to have you here. 😁

Vi: Oh! You must be (Y/N), the girl who retired from Demon Hunting!

Y: 😅

Y: Ah yeah that’s me

\- BangBangBang007 is typing -

Vi: And you must be Vergil! Dante’s older twin brother.

Ve: I’ am.

Vi: Oh!

Vi: Then…

\- BangBangBang007 is typing -

\- SoLong&GoodnightVicky05 is typing -

Vi: Oft when the summer sleeps among the trees,

Whispering faint murmurs to the scanty breeze, 

I walk the village round; if at her side 

A youth doth walk in stolen joy and pride, 

I curse my stars in bitter grief and woe, 

That made my love so high and me so low.

Ve: !

Ve: That is…

N: Aha!

N: I knew it!

Y: Knew what?

N: You see

N: Vicky here is also fond of William Blake just like Verg!

Vi: That’s right!

Vi: O should she e'er prove false, his limbs I’d tear 

And throw all pity on the burning air; 

I’d curse bright fortune for my mixed lot, 

And then I’d die in peace, and be forgot.

Ve: That is…

Ve: … remarkable.

Vi: Thank you so much, Vergil!

Ve: No problem.

Y: That is so cool! You share the same interest.

Vi: Ah, I’m not sure…

Y: Why?

Vi: Nico, should I tell them?

N: Hmm there’s no reason to hide it

\- BangBangBang007 is typing -

Vi: You see, I used to be a theater actress.

Ve: Is that so?

Vi: Yes. But, they kicked me out. I guess I’m not meant for the theater, after all.

Ve: Well…

Ve: … Nothing is permanent in this wicked world - not even our troubles.

Vi: And you’ll never find a rainbow if you’re looking down!

Vi: Oh, my god! I love Charlie Chaplin! ❤❤❤

\- BangBangBang007 is typing -

Ve: Hmm, I see you are a woman of great taste.

Vi: Oh! Thank you so much for kind words, Vergil.

Ve: Yes. Welcome to the team, Vicky.

Y: Welcome to the team! 😁👌👍👍

Vi: Thank you, Vergil!

Ve: The pleasure is mine.

\- BangBangBang007 is typing -

N: We still have to meet up for a mission! Come on, chop! Chop!

Vi: See you! 🥰

T: Right.

L: See ya! ❤

Y: See you soon guys

Y: =)

Nero: Dad.

Ve: What is it?

Ni: Hey psycho we have to go!

Ne: ALRIGHT ALRIGHT!

Ne: Sheesh

** _~ A few seconds later ~_ **

Y: Vergil?

Ve: Sorry, (Y/N). We will talk later.

Y: Ok

** _~ Who is this SoLong&GoodnightVicky05 and what is her role in this hilarious chat fic? What is her motive? And most especially, what is Vergil thinking about her?! Find out,… in the next chapter! ~_ **


	12. Day 12

_ **~ Three days later, in the 😈Devils May Cry😈 group chat ~** _

You: Hello guys!

Lady: Hey girl!

Y: How did the mission go?

Trish: Perfect

Y: Oh! Tell me... 🥰

Vicky: Just a bunch of Riots, Nobodies, Furies, and Scudos.

Y: 😱

Y: That's a lot!

V: Oh, believe me. We can handle them.

T: Naturally.

L: Didn't even blink.

Nico: What the ladies said.

Y: That's good to know.

Y: Oh hi Nico!

N: Hey (Y/N)

V: But, you know, just the other day...

Y: What happened?

V: I took on an entire horde of Furies all by myself.

Y: 😱

Y: You're kidding!

Y: I mean, one Fury is already a headache

Y: But taking on all of them at once? That's just

Y: Wow...

V: Oh, that's nothing. With my skills, I can even bring down a Higher Demon all by myself!

V: Isn't that right, Vergil?

Y: Vergil?

Vergil: I'm here.

Vi: I knew it! I sensed you. 🥰

Y: Hi Vergil!

Ve: Hello.

Vi: So, Vergil, what can you say about my skills?

Ve: Well, I haven't seen you in action, so I could not say.

Vi: You have a point...

Vi: But, what I don't understand is...

Vi: (Y/N)?

Y: Hmm?

Vi: Why did you say that?

Y: What?

Vi: That one Fury is already a headache? I mean, come on! It's just a lesser Demon. Even a teenager could handle that.

Y: I'm not a teenager...

Vi: Were you just a weakling, then?

Vi: Was it the reason you retired?

\- BangBangBang007 is typing -

Y: Ah...

Y: Sorry? 😅

Vi: Because you can't even handle lesser Demons?

T: Umm, Vicky?

Vi: Oh, wait! I've heard about this from Dante! That you got sick after battling two Riots!

Vi: Two!

Vi: Isn't that hilarious? 😂

\- BangBangBang007 is typing -

Y: Yeah

Ve: (Y/N)?

Y: Actually you're right

Y: I can't stand lesser Demons

Ve: That is not true.

Y: 😅

Y: Hard to admit it, but yeah

Y: Certified weakling human here.

Ve: (Y/N), you're not weak.

Vi: See? She admits it.

Vi: After all, the man who never alters his opinion is like standing water, and breeds reptiles of the mind.

\- BangBangBang007 is typing -

Ve: And a truth that's told with bad intent, beats all the lies you can invent.

_ **~ A few awkward seconds later ~** _

Vi: Ah! Be right back!

Vi: Toodles!

Vi: 😚❤~

  
**_~ Meanwhile, in SSSexy(Y/N) and Vergil Sparda's private chat ~_**

V: (Y/N).

Y: Hmm?

V: Are you alright?

Y: Yes.

V: Are you sure?

Y: Yeah. =)

Y: Thank you Vergil

V: Hmm...

**_~ A few moments later ~ _ **

V: Alright.

V: You're about to sleep, am I correct?

Y: Hmm.

V: May I call you?

Y: ...

Y: ... yes please.

** _~ Meanwhile, back in the group ~_ **

\- BangBangBang007 has left the group. -

** _~ TO BE CONTINUED ~_ **


	13. Day 13

_**~ The next day ~**_  
  
  
Vicky: Hello, Vergil!  
  
  
\- Vergil Sparda has joined the conversation. -  
  
  
Vergil: Greetings.  
  
Vi: 🥰  
  
Vi: ❤  
  
Ve: How can I help you?  
  
Vi: Umm,  
  
Vi: Are you busy right now?  
  
Ve: Not too much.  
  
Vi: I want to ask you something.  
  
Ve: And that is?  
  
Vi: I want to read a certain book, but I couldn't seem to find it. So,  
  
Vi: Will you go to the library with me tomorrow?  
  
Ve: Vicky...  
  
Vi: Pretty please, Verg? 🥰  
  
Vi: Even only for a few minutes? 🥰  
  
Ve: ... alright,  
  
Vi: Thank you so much!  
  
Ve: But! Only. For a. Minute. I have something else to do.  
  
Vi: More important than books?  
  
Ve: Yes. More important than that.  
  
Vi: Ooh, what is it? Can I help? 🥰  
  
Ve: No.  
  
Vi: Aww...  
  
Vi: Alright, then! I'll meet you at the cafe at 10am!  
  
Vi: Toodles! 🥰

_ **~ A few moments later, in the All The Single Ladies ❤💍❤ group chat ~** _

\- VirtuosoGoldstein.45 added SoLong&GoodnightVicky05 into the group. -  
  
V: Guys, GUYS!  
  
Lady: Calm down, girl!  
  
Trish: What happened?  
  
V: It's finally happening!  
  
You: What is happening?  
  
V: You're gonna be dead! Vergil and I are going out!  
  
V: Tomorrow! 🥰🥰🥰  
  
L: Oh! I'm so happy for you!  
  
V: Oh, my! What am I gonna wear? Should I wear something pastel? A dress? Or maybe paired with boots?  
  
V: (Y/N), what do you think?  
  
Y: Huh?  
  
V: My outfit, dummy! What am I going to wear for my date with Verg tomorrow?  
  
Y: Oh, well...  
  
Y: You'll be fine. I'm pretty sure Vergil will like it anyway.  
  
V: Oh! Really? Are you saying the truth?  
  
V: (Y/N)? Hello? Earth to (Y/N)!  
  
Y: Yes. I'm saying the truth.  
  
V: Aww! I'm so happy. 🥰  
  
L: Enjoy your date, girl!  
  
T: Enjoy! ❤  
  
V: Thank you! 🥰

**_~ An hour later ~_ **

Y: Vergil?  
  
V: Yes, (Y/N)?  
  
Y: Are you, uh...  
  
Y: Are you busy?  
  
V: I' am.  
  
Y: How about tomorrow?  
  
V: I'm sorry. I'm going out tomorrow.

_ **~ A few seconds later ~** _

V: (Y/N)?  
  
V: Are you alright?  
  
Y: Yes.  
  
Y: Sorry for bothering you.  
  
V: Sorry?  
  
V: (Y/N)?

**_~ TO BE CONTINUED ~_ **


	14. Day 14

** _~ Two days later ~_ **

**You:** Verg?

** _~ An hour later ~_ **

**Y:** Umm, hi Verg

**Y:** Pls let me know when you're no longer busy ok?

** _~ A day later ~_ **

**Y:** Good morning =)

** _~ Five days later ~_ **

**Y:** Hi Verg

**Y:** Ah idk when you'll read this but I just want u to know. I know ur not going to read this anytime soon. So I guess I'm just gonna put this here

**Y:** I've been worried sick about u. I want to know if ur ok, if you've been eating well, if ur doing well, if ur safe

**Y:** So, I just wanna know

**Y:** Have I done something wrong? Anything at all? If there is then I want u to know that I'm really really sorry for what happened

** _~ A few hours later ~_ **

**Y:** So that's it

**Y:** Umm, I'll talk to u when

** _~ A few moments later ~_ **

**Y:** Goodbye

\- SSSexy(Y/N) has left the conversation. -

** _~ Approximately one day later ~_ **

**Vergil:** (Y/N) I'm sorry I just got back.

**V:** (Y/N)?

** _~ A few seconds later ~_ **

**V:** Trish, have you heard from (Y/N)?

**Trish:** I'm sorry, no.

**T:** What happened?

**V:** I think she...

**T:** Hey r u ok?

**V:** I think she left me.

** _~ A few moments later ~_ **

**V:** Trish, I know you know something. Tell me.

**T:** Weren't u w/ Vicky the other day?

**V:** What? She didn't even show up at the cafe last week.

**T:** I see

**T:** And why r u asking abt (Y/N)?

**T:** What is she to you Vergil?

** _~ A few seconds later ~_ **

**T:** Vergil?

**T:** WHAT'S W/ U SPARDA TWINS AND SEENZONING ME HUH?!

\- TheBewitchingDevilMiss has left the conversation. -

** _~ A few minutes later, in the HelpVergilGetMotivatedForAShag group chat ~_ **

**T:** I think we're screwing up

**Lady:** Sorry, what?

**T:** We're screwing up!

**T:** (Y/N) is not talking w/ Vergil!

**Dante:** WHOA WHOA WHOA! That's not how it's supposed to work!

**Nico:** Do u have any more ideas then?!

**N:** Look! Nero has left us!

**T:** I think it's your fault Dante

**D:** Don't look at me!

**L:** What do we do now?

**D:** Well

**D:** We push Vicky a bit harder!

**T:** Are u insane? What if they never get to be together?!

**D:** Look we just have push a little bit more until one of them confesses

**D:** Ok?

**T:** Don't blame me if something bad happens

**T:** I already warned u

**D:** Stop worrying like a mom Trish ;)

**T:** 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

**L:** Ok guys! One last push and that's it

**L:** If it works it works

**L:** If not...

**N:** Oh well!

**D:** See ya!

** _~ What is going to happen to these idiots? What is "Vicky" planning now? And most important of all,... WILL ROMEO AND JULIET FINALLY CONFESS THEIR FEELINGS TO EACH OTHER? Find out,... on the next episode! ~_ **


	15. Day 15

* * *

_ **~ The next day, in the 😈Devils May Cry😈 group chat ~** _

Dante: Hellooooooo

D: Anybody home?

Trish: What is it now?

D: Good morning to you Trish =D

T: What's so good in the morning? -_-

Vergil: If you two are planning to make a scene here, then, please, for the love of Sparda, I beg you to do it someplace else,

V: ... scum.

D: And good morning to you too Verg! ;)

Vicky: Hi, Verg 🥰

Ve: You...

Vi: 😅

Ve: I demand you to explain your absence last week.

D: 😱

D: Vicks you ditched Verg? How could you do that?

D: 😱

Vi: Wait a second here, I didn't! You see, I have, ahh...

D: What is it?

Vi: Flu.

Lady: Yeah. I heard the virus was floating around town this past week.

D: I see you came too Lady! ;)

L: Yeah

Ve: Now, if any of you, low - lives, are still planning to hang around, then, I must, now, take my leave. I have something better to do than have some idle, foolish, and pointless chit chat with you.

D: WHOA WHOA WHOA! WAIT!

Ve: What is it?!

D: You! You've been ghosting a lot lately! Is your "errand" really that important to you?

Ve: Don't ask, for you don't have anything to do with this.

D: Oh is that so?

D: Did you read that (Y/N)?

** _~ A few seconds later ~_ **

You: I'm here

D: There we go!

D: So how's Paris life treating you now huh babe? ;)

Ve: Babe.

Y: Still the same

D: And that is?

Y: Coke.

T: Coke?

L: Coke? As in the soda?

Y: Yeah pretty much it

D: Why coke 🤔

Y: Because life's kinda like "zero" to me lately

D: OH!!!

L: Hey that's a good one!

T: It is.

Vi: It's so not!

Vi: That's so freaking corny! Like, "coke zero"? Duh! 🙄

D: Ohohoho! So we're doing pick up line battle here now huh?

Ve: Don't you even start that.

D: What? Are you kidding? This is fun! What do you say huh Vicks? We'll let Vergil decide the winner! ;)

Vi: Yeah, I'm in!

D: You (Y/N)?

** _~ A few moments later ~_ **

Y: Sure I'm in

D: Yes!

L: Oh this I gotta see!

T: Guys if you need me I shall be a hundred miles away from here 🙄

D: Who wants to go 1st?

Vi: Me!

D: You're up ;)

Vi: Vergil,

Vi: Draw me like one of your french girls. ;)

D: WHOHOA!!!! TITANIC HUH? CLASSIC!!!!

D: Ok (Y/N) ur turn

Y: Vergil?

Ve: Yes, (Y/N)?

** _~ A few seconds later ~_ **

Y: Where have you been all my life?

Ve: My dear, I'm...

Vi: Lame! 👎👎

Vi: Vergil, I'm sorry your shirt has to go. However, you can stay as long as you please. ;)

D: Way to go Vicks! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

D: Come on (Y/N) fight for Verg!

Y: Vergil.

Ve: Yes?

Y: I'm sorry I need to breathe

Ve: Wait, why? Are you alright? Are you not feeling well?

Y: No, it's just...

Y: Being with you takes my breath away

Vi: (Y/N), are you like my grandma or something? That's so freaking lame! "Being with you takes my breath away"? Like duh! 🙄👎👎

Vi: Verg, I know what you're thinking of me. And I know it's R - Rated. 😏😏😏😏💦💦💦💦

D: Oh spicy right there! 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Y: Verg, I need to tell you something

Ve: What is it, dear?

Y: I saw you

Ve: Where?

Y: In the mirror. Last May 1.

** _~ A few seconds later ~_ **

Vi: Wait was that even a pick up line?

Vi: Do you even know how to play this game?

L: Ok guys! See you later!

D: Wait! Lady stay! Please 😥

L: Nah I'm still here ;)

Y: And you know how to play this game huh Vicky?

Vi: Duh! Of course I do!

Y: By all means let's find out then!

Y: After all you sound so confident!

Vi: Be my guest!

Vi: Verg?

Ve: Please, enough of this, Vicky.

Vi: You're like my little toe because I'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture on my home.

Vi: 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

Vi: ;)

** _~ A few awkward moments later ~_ **

Y: Oh. I see.

Ve: (Y/N)? Dear?

Y: Vicky?

Vi: What is it

Vi: Grandma?

Vi: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Y: You know I was actually at a store the other day. I told the clerk I was looking for a bicycle.

Vi: Why would you even need a bicycle? 🙄

Y: I just need a good ride round Paris. I'm weak right?

Vi: Glad you know. ;)

Y: Well! Then guess what?

D: What is it?

Ve: (Y/N), please. Your heart...

Ve: I beg you...

Vi: Yeah, tell us already!

Y: Vicky

Y: The clerk

Y: FUCKING POINTED AT YOU

\- SSSexy(Y/N) has left the group. -

Ve: The plague on the lot of you.

\- Vergil Sparda has left the group. -

** _~ A few minutes later ~_ **

T: See? I warned you didn't I?

\- TheBewitchingDevilMiss has left the group. -

L: Sorry Dante I have to go.

D: Lady wait!

\- MyNameIsLady has left the group. -

D: Ah

D: Shit

D: What now?

Vi: Dunno

Vi: Don't have a plan C

D: Hmm

Vi: ?

D: You're actually a good actress Nico

Nico: Nah. You're still better than me.

D: And "bang" Vergil on every piece of your furniture? Dude's gonna end up covered in oil and grease!

N: Well I thought it sounds kinda provocative

N: And "toodles"? Where did ya even get that?

D: Well Patty says that all the time, yeah

D: And look where it brought us...

N: 😫

D: Ok ok we'll fix this. Don't worry.

D: For now I'll check on Vergil

D: You go check on (Y/N). Call her, whatever

N: 👍

** _~ TO BE CONTINUED ~_ **


	16. Day 16

_ **~ A few hours later ~** _

Vergil: (Y/N), talk to me, please.

_ **~ An hour later ~** _

V: I will call.

_ **~ Thirty minutes and 47 missed calls later ~** _

V: (Y/N), I beg you, please talk to me.

_ **~ An hour, 58 missed calls, and 15 voice messages later ( and still no answer ) ~** _

V: Dante

Dante: Hey

V: (Y/N) is not talking to me.

D: Is she still upset?

V: Possibly.

D: Oh

_ **~ A few moments later ~** _

D: Verg I have something to tell ya

D: U see

D: It's about Vicky

V: The killer part is: I know. She's not real.

D: 😱

D: HOW DID U KNOW THAT?!

V: I was not born yesterday to not know what you're up to. And besides, the longer you tried to pretend, the more you became obvious.

D: Oh

D: I thought you said before that u were just 2 days old

V: Come again?

D: AH! Nvm

V: How did you do it?

D: Ah well Nico and I took turns playing Vicky

D: I type while Nico searches for Blake quotes then sometimes we switch roles

V: Why?

D: Aww come on Verg! U said so urself, ur not born yesterday

D: Surely u know that (Y/N) likes u

D: Maybe more than like

D: We created Vicky to push either 1 of u to confess!

_ **~ A few awkward seconds later ~** _

D: Vergil?

V: Yes, and clearly your intervention has led to this situation. 

D: Hey Im sorry bro I really am

D: Verg?

V: I will not fight you this time. But, I do hope that you haven't forgotten why (Y/N) has retired from Demon hunting in the first place.

D: No

D: BUT! That's exactly why you must confess! There's just so little time left

V: And you honestly believe that she would not survive?

D: Well...

V: How shameless of you as her friend to not believe in her.

V: To think that I let this foolish farce go on...

V: ... perhaps, I was the one who's at fault.

D: Hey bro u didn't do anything wrong

D: I'll call (Y/N) or send her an apology myself

V: There's no need for that.

D: Why?

D: I feel bad here bro

D: At least me apologize to her

V: As I've said, there is no need for such action.

V: I'm here. I used the Yamato.

D: What?

_ **~ A few dumb Dante seconds later ~** _

D: WAIT! YOU WENT THERE? TO PARIS?!

D: YOU SON OF A GUN!

D: 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

D: How would you find her? Why did you even go there? How?!

V: Leave it to me.

V: Just do me a favor, will you?

D: Anything for my bro!

V: Just stay still in one place, do not touch anything.

V: And don't you dare breathe.

D: 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

D: I didn't know youre good at jokes Verg!

D: Verg?

_ **~ A few moments later ~** _

D: Ah

D: The seenzone

D: Eh whatever

_ **~ Vergil has finally arrived at Paris! What will happen now? Will he find where SSSexy(Y/N) lives? How would she react when she sees him? And most importantly,... will Dante really take his advice and not breathe?! Find out,... on the next chapter! ~** _


	17. Day 17

_You patiently and cautiously waited for the Fury to attack you. The wounds you received from it didn't really bother you but, your inability to actually defeat it was starting to really annoy you. The others must have already retired from the mission and you knew you were the only one left in the battlefield._  
  
_ You were actually used to it, being left alone by others who were physically stronger than you._  
  
_ Yes, you have admirable skills as a gunslinger but, still, like most of the Devil May Cry clients, you're just a mere human. Well, Lady, the one called the Walking Arsenal, is one, however, she was clearly a lot stronger than you._  
  
_ And your weakness was starting to catch up on you._  
  
_ You turned around just in time as the Fury materialized right above you. You pointed your dual guns at it and fired at its face, fatally wounding it and finally bringing it down, killing it instantly._  
  
_ Your arms dropped to your side as you collapsed on the ground, your chest getting heavier and heavier by the second,..._  
  
***  
  
You opened your eyes as memories of that day rapidly flashed through your mind.  
  
The moon had already risen high above the evening sky, and the little lights that adorned the picturesque city of Paris rivalled that of the summer stars.  
  
You realized you were staying in the balcony for who knows how many hours, and it's actually starting to take a toll on your knees.  
  
With a sigh, your dainty fingers left the metal railing as you made your way back inside the little vintage house you were renting during your indefinite stay in the city of love. You slid the glass door open, went inside, and carefully closed it. With what little amber light your lamp ( a gift from Nico ) provided for your small and yet cozy room, you made your way towards the bed, climbed on top of it, and pulled the covers over your tired body. Your hand idly reached for the lamp on the bed side table and turned it off. You desired so much for a long and peaceful slumber with a promise of a brighter and more positive tomorrow.  
  
You pulled your favorite stuffed animal closer to your chest, curled on the side, and closed your eyes. Not a few seconds in and you could already reach a nice dream,...  
  
_Tap tap tap,..._  
  
Your eyes snapped open at the strange sound you just heard. You stared into the darkness for a while, thinking about what you just heard.  
  
Nope, you simply thought as you closed your eyes once again. It's only my over - active imagination,...  
  
_ Tap tap tap,..._  
  
There it was again! But, this time, the noises were a bit louder. You opened your eyes and turned to look at the glass door, feeling so scared fo what will happen next.  
  
_Tap tap tap,..._  
  
Came the noises once more, and this time, you were sure: someone, or something, was knocking on the glass door.  
  
You nervously gulped as your hand reached for the spatula near the lamp. You carefully left the bed as you made your way towards the door.  
  
_Impossible! Impossible! There's no way in hell -_  
  
"(Y/N), it's me."  
  
Came an all too familiar voice on the other side of the door. Your eyes widened as your bare feet automatically made their way towards the source of the sound like lost a little lamb wanting so much to reunite with its shepherd. You parted the heavy cream curtains and slid the door open, and what greeted you outside simply took your breath away.  
  
His eyes widened in admiration as he scanned your features from head to foot, and his lips almost cracked a smile when he saw the weapon in your hand.  
  
"A spatula." He began. "Against the likes of me. Really, _mon amour_?"  
  
"Vergil!" You literally moaned as you breathed a sigh of utter relief. "What are you doing here?"  
  
The tall man in blue finally smiled as he looked into your eyes with something you couldn't quite tell.  
  
Was it,... _desire_?  
  
"I will absolutely tell you, but you must, first, put the spatula down and let me in."  
  
With those playful words, you brought the metal thing down at the same time you let your guard down.  
  
But, you remained vigilant.  
  
"And what if I say no?"  
  
"Then, I will have to force my way in. And take the spatula away from your hand."  
  
For a moment, no words were said between the two of you, and when Vergil's attempt at a cop joke finally set in, you couldn't help but giggle.  
  
"I don't believe you!" You cracked through your suppressed giggles. "Can you even do that?"  
  
The man's lips curled at the side as he stepped into the threshold of your home, closed the glass door, and simply walked towards you. You stopped giggling as you looked up at the man who was now glancing at you with such gravity that made you utterly powerless in front of him.  
  
"Do not,..." he whispered as he gently touched the fist that was holding unto the tool. " ... tempt me."  
  
"I'm not,... " you mumbled as you felt the warmth of his hand. If it weren't for the embarrassing and awkward situation you were formerly in, namely the incident with the group chat, you would have thrown all attempts at pretense and simply wrapped your arms around the guy. You missed him so much, and you cannot contain yourself from letting out your real emotions to him. "... tempting,... you."  
  
"Then,... " he answered as his fingers slowly slid against your knuckles and carefully grasped the tool, gently prying it loose from your hand. " ... let us not start with violence, shall we?"  
  
Your eyes followed the movements of his slender hand as it stole the spatula from yours and carefully placed it on the rosewood table near the door. And, of course, your eyes did not miss it as it touched your cheek, gently cupping it, his thumb brushing against your smooth skin.  
  
"You haven't answered my question." You managed to say as his other hand also went up to your cheek and commenced its caressing movements.  
  
He hummed as he brushed your (H/C) locks away from your face. "Isn't it obvious? I came here for you."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Instead of answering your question right away, he pulled you into his warm embrace, his arms ever so emollient against your body. He buried his face into your hair as his hands went up and down your back, giving you sweet sensations and effectively calming your nerves.  
  
"You're not answering my calls and I'm so worried." He told you. "Were you mad at me?"  
  
"W - what? No! I'm not. I will never be mad at you,..."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
You whined a bit as he stopped caressing your back. His hands went back to your face as he cupped your cheeks, his light - colored eyes not leaving your (E/C) ones even for a moment.  
  
"You are still upset of what happened. I know."  
  
You slightly shook your head as your hands went up to touch his.  
  
"Then, why won't you talk to me? Answer me, **_my love_**, please."  
  
_**My love,...**_  
  
"I thought you loved someone else?" You sincerely asked, your own question seemingly making your heart twitch in slight pain. Not a good sign,...  
  
To this, Vergil only smiled. Of course, he knew the truth about the woman called Vicky.  
  
But, apparently, you haven't realized it, yet.  
  
"My dearest, I love one and only one." He answered with a teasing smile.  
  
You smiled at him and finay accepted how oblivious you were from the very beginning.  
  
The moment you walked through that door and saw him for the very first time, you knew that the encounter, and all other things about him and you, would someday lead to this very moment. You rehearsed the words you would say to him night and day, even envisioned the moment countless of times.  
  
But, now,...  
  
_Why must your tongue betray you?_  
  
"B - but, Vicky! She - "  
  
You began but, his lips captured yours in a passionate kiss, drowning everything else within you. His hands left your face as he pulled you close to his body, his swift movements making your hands clutch the smooth fabric of his coat. Your hands, then, went up and snaked around his neck, making him pull you even closer to him if it's still possible. And with that subtle permission of yours, he deepened his kiss, eliciting a sweet muffled moan of pleasure from you which almost sent him to insanity.  
  
He wanted you so, so much. He knew it right from the very beginning when you gave him that innocent look and sheepish smile as you introduced yourself. Months and months and months of denial to his ever growing feelings towards you finally led him to this moment where nothing else matters, not even his lack of etiquette for entering an unchaperoned maiden's room in the middle of the night.  
  
But, alas! He doesn't care.  
  
You are his, and his alone.  
  
And him? He's yours,...  
  
... until the end of time.  
  
And just before the storm of passionate kisses could turn into something else entirely, he reluctantly broke it off. With shortness of breath, he observed your delicate and disappointed face as you tried to initiate round two.  
  
"I haven't explained why I was absent for a week." He whispered. You only raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to go on. He chuckled as he let you go for a brief moment to retrieve something from his coat pocket.  
  
Your eyes widened in surprise at the beauty of the antique jewelry in Vergil's hand. It was a silver - chained necklace with a simple sapphire gem.  
  
"It's,... breathtaking." You gasped as Vergil put it around your neck.  
  
"This belonged to my mother when she was still around." Vergil explained. "Apparently, my foolish brother traded it for money with a shady dealer who I've tracked down a hundred miles away from Red Grave."  
  
To this revelation, you simply laughed. "Electric bills, I guess?"  
  
"And water. Not to mention his wifi connection."  
  
"Oh, my God,..."  
  
"But, now, it's all yours. So is my heart, body, and soul. I'm yours, (Y/N)."  
  
Your fingers glided on the chain around your neck as you looked up at him. But, then, your smile vanished as a small inconvenience finally hit you.  
  
"Are you,... are you going to leave?"  
  
"What? No! Do you want me to?"  
  
"No!" Your high - pitched voice almost startled you. You got Vergil now. "Of course, not,..."  
  
And you don't intend on letting him go, ever again.  
  
"So, you'll stay with me?"  
  
Vergil took your hands and gave each knuckle a kiss. "For as long as you like."  
  
"How about forever?"  
  
The man smiled proudly as he pulled you close once more.  
  
"Gladly." He answered, then took a good long look at the room, which was slightly cluttered with art materials. After your retirement from Demon hunting, you pursued your art career, which made your life a little less boring. "But, please, don't show me that spatula ever again."  
  
You giggled as your arms went around him. "Don't hate on the spatula."  
  
"I'll try."  
  
"What now?" It wasn't your intention to make your question sound suggestive but, Vergil picked up on it automatically.  
  
"Dante and the others would definitely tease us to no end if they found out that we finally **_shagged_**."  
  
"Oh, you're right."  
  
You gave him a serious look and after a few moments of awkward silence, your lips curled up, imitating his smirk from earlier. This earned a confused look from the man.  
  
So was the one question that came out of your lips.  
  
"Wanna shag?"  
  
"Yes, please."

***

** _~ TO BE CONTINUED ~_ **


	18. Intermission

Greetings, guys and gals!

Since Vergil Sparda and SSSexy(Y/N) are still spending time together, let's have a little commercial first!

I now present to you the most intriguing ( or not ) information about 💙 Chat Buddies ( ?! ) 💙

Q1: What is the messaging app the characters use?

~ Eh, it's just an old messaging app that every person with a cellphone ( meaning everyone, including your grandparents ) has. It lets you have group chats ( SSS rating to those who could answer the number of GCs in our story as of the moment! Additonal 1000 Red Orbs to those who could name them all! ), chat privately ( well, duh ), send photos, gifs, videos ( 2 minutes, tops ), voice messages, it even lets you and your friends have video calls! One drawback it has, though: the app automatically updates and forces you to use up all your consumable data mbs! Not perfect to those who only have free data instead of a real wifi or a decent data connection, omg ( that's you, Dante! )!

Q2: Who started all these messaging app shenanigans?

~ Ever since getting wind of this "wondrous" app from Patty, Dante decided to have this as a requirement for everyone who works ( or is related to ) at Devil May Cry! But, he could barely maintain his GCs due to the fact that his wifi connection is always getting cut off due to overdue bills. So, Nero or Nico takes over most of the time.

Q3: Character Profile ( s )?

1\. (Y/N) (L/N)

User Name: SSSexy(Y/N)

Meaning Behind The User Name: (Y/N) thinks it's just cool and she feels confident whenever she sees it on her messaging app.

~ This chick joined Devil May Cry about a year after the Qliphoth incident.

Cellphone Model: Somesang J8, android, (F/C), 6 inches infinite display, with 64 internal gb ( her sd card's at 64 gb as well ), prepaid.

2\. Vergil Sparda

User Name: Vergil Sparda ( yes, that's it )

Meaning Behind The User Name: "Do I have to provide a foolish name for myself?"

~ Vergil bought his very first phone a year after the Qliphoth incident, 2 days before SSSexy(Y/N) joined Devil May Cry. Oh, and should you decide to drop him a message or two, well, just don't. He will not reply, unless it's Devil May Cry business. And phone flirting? He will not appreciate that, no.

Cellphone Model: Pear Phone 11, ios, metallic blue, 5.80 inches, with 64 internal gb, prepaid

Ringtone: You know the sound of the bamboo fountain in a Japanese garden? That's it.

Message Notification Tone: Temple chime.

Wallpaper: William Blake's illustrated poem ( Infant Joy )

3\. Dante Sparda

User Name: TheLegendarySavageDante

Meaning Begind The User Name: He wants to make a user name so badass that all his enemies would quake at the mere sound of it! He comes up with the name 3 days later after buying his very first cellphone, and actually, it only sounds something a teenage boy could come up with.

~ Dante, despite his wifi connection always being cut off, is, in fact, a social ( media ) butterfly! He may not always be online but, when he does, damn! Prepare for sleepless nights with this dude should you decide to have a chat with him.

Cellphone Model: Bokia 1 ( yep, Bokia's 1st ever smartphone ). Ever heard of the grand daddy of smart phones? An indestructible android ( one that you can smash on a Riot's face over and over again and it would not even get a single scratch ), hot rod red, 5 inches with 8 gb internal memory ( his sd card's at 4gb ), has "very useful" apps like flashlight, radio, snakes, bounce, bluetooth, and opera mini. Postpaid.

Ringtone: Subhuman ( like, seriously, there's nothing a Bokia 1 can't play )

Message Notification Tone: The good old Bokia 8 bit theme

Wallpaper: His lock screen may be a photo of a mouthwatering slice of pizza but, his home screen is a photo of his favorite Playboy Bunny!

4\. Nero Sparda

User Name: BangBangBang007

Meaning Behind The User Name: He just loves James Bond.

~ Secretly wants to buy himself a phone. He got it a year before the twins got theirs. The only people on his contacts, then, were Kyrie and Nico. And he loves mobile games, omg!

Cellphone Model: Hiswei Nova 5T, android, 5 inches with 128 gb internal memory ( sd card at 64 gb ), midnight blue, has ten or so mobile games ( he plays PUBG version 2, Ragnarok Unlimited, NBA 3k, etc ), prepaid

Ringtone: James Bond Theme ( You can hear it, I know )

Message Notification Tone: The "Peeing" Ringtone ( it seriously unnerves Kyrie, the poor girl )

Wallpaper: A selfie of him and Kyrie ( Nico photobombed, lol )

~ TO BE CONTINUED ~


	19. Intermission

Q3: Character Profile ( s ) ? Continued

5\. Lady

User Name: MyNameIsLady

Meaning Behind The User Name: Her. Name. Is. Lady. Case closed.

~ This sexy and badass Devil Hunter just don't want to be referred by her real name, Mary. Only second to Trish when it comes to Instagram follower numbers.

Cellphone Model: Viva You4X, android, 6.35 - inches with 32 gb of internal memory ( sd card at 32 gb ), red tea color, prepaid, has a lot ( this is an understatement ) of followers on instagram and has a lot of photo editing apps, her gallery's brimming with selfies of her and Kalina Ann, and, apparently, she also has a lot ( an understatement, as well ) of online stalkers ( one of them is Dante ).

Ringtone: The chorus part of Wish You Were Gay by Billie Eilish

Message Notification Tone: Just a simple bell sound

Wallpaper: A selfie of her wearing a pair of really cool - looking sunglasses, with her Kalina Ann, and with a Fury photobomber on the background ( this photo has about a million likes on Instagram )

6\. Trish

User Name: TheBewitchingDevilMiss

Meaning Behind The User Name: She's bewitching. And a Devil. And a Miss. That's it.

~ This Bewitching Devil has been rocking the social media since the smart phone was invented with her cool and badass posts and Devil Hunting blogs in style. She's the number one inspiration of Lady ( although she does not admit this ), and is currently one of the most followed accounts on Instagram.

Cellphone Model: APPA A10 2021, android, with 128 gb of internal storage ( sd card at 64 gb ), space purple, prepaid, has ( secretly ) a lot of cat videos and photos, lots of photo editing apps, and at least 1 farming simulation mobile game. Also being stalked by Dante.

Ringtone: The chorus part of IDontWannaBeYouAnymore by Billie Eilish

Message Notification Tone: Is that a cat meowing you hear? 🤔

Wallpaper: Cats, cats, and cats. And a different cat every week.

7\. Nico Goldstein

User Name: VirtuosoGoldstein.45

Meaning Behind The User Name: Seriously, who hasn't heard about the .45 Caliber Virtuoso - the one and only woman Nico strives to be?

~ Nico looks up to her grandmother so much, she made a website ( called "The .45 Caliber Virtuoso" ) about her epic works, the Ebony and Ivory being the highlight of the site. She also showcases her "works of art" there. Strangely, she also offers steel pots of all shapes and sizes. 🤔

Cellphone Model: Somesang Universe 10++, android, with 256 gb of internal memory ( sd card at 64 gb ), 6.1 inches infinite display, canary yellow, has zero mobile games, but her Boogle map is always open ( oftentimes, she does not follow this, and Nero could testify to this fact ).

Ringtone: Shoot To Thrill by AC/DC ( she loves Iron Man 3000, and she legit cried when Tony Stark died )

Message Notification Tone: The horn / honking of a vehicle ( just to annoy Nero )

Wallpaper: The photo of her granny's magnum opus - a prototype of Ebony and Ivory dual launchers, one she's actually currently developing.

8\. Kyrie

User Name: KyrieEleison

Meaning Behind The User Name: The words, "Kyrie Eleison" is Latin, which means, "Lord Have Mercy"

~ She only bought a cellphone because of Nero, and ever since then, she adapted her boyfriend's addiction to mobile games. She doesn't play too many hardcore games, though, but one badass secret she has is - she sits at the top as the best player in PUBG. Other than that, she plays Farmville with Trish as a Coop.

Cellphone Model: Hiswei Nova 5T ( same model as Nero's ), android, 5 inches with 128 gb internal memory ( sd card at 64 gb ), bubblegum pink, prepaid, doesn't have a lot of apps ( only PUBG, Farmville, and about 4 similar matching and cooking games ), but she does have a lot of music sheet pdfs.

Ringtone: Ave Maria by Franz Schubert

Message Notification Tone: The simple bell tone just like Lady's

Wallpaper: A selfie of her and Nero with the Nico photobomb ( couple wallpaper for the win! )

** _~ TO BE CONTINUED ~_ **


	20. Day 18

_~ A week later ~_

\- TheLegendarySavageDante added BangBangBang007 to the conversation. -

\- TheLegendarySavageDante added KyrieEleison to the conversation. -

\- TheLegendarySavageDante added VirtuosoGoldstein.45 to the conversation. -

\- TheLegendarySavageDante added MyNameIsLady to the conversation. -

\- TheLegendarySavageDante added BewitchingDevilMiss to the conversation. -

\- TheLegendarySavageDante changed the name of the group to Vergil Finally Gets A Shag 2019 🥳😏💦 -

\- KyrieEleison is typing -

Dante: Dont complain cinnamon bun! The secret is finally out!

Nero: What is this again?

D: As you can see I dissolved the old group and made another one.

Lady: What did I get called here for? I hope it's something important. I'm busy.

Nico: Hmm! Based on that smokin name, I hope I'm right!

Trish: Wait, you're not saying...?

\- KyrieEleison is typing -

D: Absolutely!

D: 😏

Ni: 😱

D: 😚❤

D: 👉👌

D: 💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

D: 😏

Ni: Oh my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ne: 🤦♂️

L: Is that legit???????

D: 😏

T: Dante I swear if you're joking

D: What? Have you even seen Verg since last week?

T: So, where is he?

Kyrie: I know. He's in Paris right now. With (Y/N).

L: 😱

T: 😱

D: 😏

Ni: 😏

T: 🙄

L: 😏

D: 💦

Ne: Stop spamming pls

\- TheLegendarySavageDante set the group emoji to 😏 -

D: 😏

K: Guys I have to go for a while.

D: WAIT CINNAMON BUN DONT LEAVE!

Ne: Relax. Shes just playing PUBG. Nothing to worry abt

D: Oh

D: What PUBG?

Ne: 🤦♂️

D: Eh! Anyway!

D: You know what this means!

L: What?

D: Oh you know

D: 😏

D: 👉👌

D: 💦💦💦💦💦💦💦💦

D: 👶

L: OMGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

Ni: WHY DID I NOT SEE THIS COMING!!!????

T: I hate to admit this but you're right Dante

D: I'm always right! 😎

Ni: Congrats psycho! You're gonna have a baby brother soon!

T: Or sister

L: Or twins again!

D: Yeah it actually runs in the Sparda blood

Ne: Oh lord.......

L: Hey don't you like it?

_~ A few seconds later of awkward silence ~_

Ne: I do! I'm happy for the 2 of them believe me

D: Why dont you sound like it?

Ne: Idk it just sounds kinda weird

Ni: Weird? In what way?

L: Aren't you excited?! (Y/N) and Vergil are gonna have babies! I wanna be the godmother. 😍😍😍😍

T: Hold up a minute sister! I will be the godmother!

L: Ohoho don't fight me

T: Oh but I will

D: Okay ladies that's enough! You can both be the godmothers!

Ni: OMG GUYS ARENT YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING!!!!!?????

D: What??

Ni: 🤦♀️

Ni: Am I gonna spell it our for ya?

Ni: Vergil

Ni: Has

Ni: To

Ni: Marry

Ni: (Y/N)

Ni: FIRST!

Ni: AAARRRGGHHHH!!!!!!!! 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️

L: 😱😱😱 A WEDDING!!!!

T: THE WEDDING OF THE CENTURY!!!!

T: 😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱😱

D: Umm ladies?

L: Move over Dante we'll settle this

D: Wait why? Am I not the one who organized this group?

T: Yes but things always go wrong when you're in charge

Ni: The ladies are right. Let them take care of business Dante

D: Okay!

D: So we'll chat again tomorrow?

L: Sure!

T: Yeah

D: Dont forget!

D: 😏

L: 😏

Ni: 😏

T: I hate to do this but

T: 😏

Ne: 🙄🤦♂️

_~ What are these idiots planning now? Who will win the godmother competition, MyNameIsLady or TheBewitchingDevilMiss? Will Kyrie reign as the top PUBG player? And most importantly, ARE VERGIL SPARDA AND SSS(Y/N) STILL SHAGGING?! Find out,... on the next chapter! ~_


	21. Day 19

** _~ This Disco ( chatting app for gamers ) conversation happened a few days later after Nico and Lady convinced Dante to install PUBG ULTIMATE into his grandfather Bokia phone ~_ **

Lady - I got thouroughly destroyed

Nico - Yeah me too

Dante - Why am I missing somethin?

L - fuck

L - that ILUVMYDEVILBF007!!!!!!!

L - AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

L - 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

D - WHOA WOMAN CALM DOWN THE HELL HAPPENED?????

N - You see Dante

N - Lady's ass got wiped out clean in PUBG again

N - for the 4th time today

L - 6th!

L - 6th goddamn time!

N - okay okay i get ya!

N - so Lady's ass got wiped out clean in PUBG by that ILUVMYDEVILBF007 

N - sounds crude but yeah that's what happened

D - wait

D - who's that?

L - no idea!

L - like

L - everyone in fucking annoyed by this random player

L - she keeps beating us in every round

L - the only times we win are those times that ILUVMYDEVILBF007 is not online

D - that's extreme

D - HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

L - WTF????!!!!!!

L - WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING ABOUT?

D - maybe you're just too weak?

N - shut up! We even used used "surprise mechanics" to get ourselves the best weapons

N - like the best of the best!

N - but this ILUVMYDEVILBF007 keeps destroying every players! ILUVMYDEVILBF007 is currently the top player in PUBG ULTIMATE

D - aha............

L - why?

L - don't believe us?

L - then I dare you to challenge that player!

L - see if you can beat that!

D - alright!

D - see how experts do it!

** _~ A few sessions and about eight to fifteen rage quits later ~_ **

L - giving up already Dante hmm?

D - wait!

D - don't you think i can't do this gig on my own??!!

N - shut up!

N - you didn't even get past the top 10 players

N - pssshhh!!!

D - i did!

L - yeah

L - until that ILUVMYDEVILBF007 used your face as floorwax!

D - oh shut up!

D - i will challenge that douchebag again!

** _~ A few moments later ~_ **

D - i give up!

D - that player is a freakin tank!

N - ha!

L - told ya

Nero - hey guys what's goin on?

N - Dante got his ass kicked by this ILUVMYDEVILBF007 in PUBG

L - and on consecutive tries

Ne - oh

Ne - ha

Ne - hahaha

Ne - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!

Ne - practical joke of the century!!!!!!

D - what's so funny kid?

Ne - hol up a minute

**\- BangBangBang007 added KyrieEleison to the channel -**

Kyrie - hi guys

K - didn't know you have a Disco channel

K - thanks for inviting me

Ni - Nero she's not even a gamer

K - oh!

K - we're playing games? I'm in!😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

L - ah

L - Kyrie what game do you play?

K - oh!

K - very recently

K - actually not too long ago

K - I played PUBG ULTIMATE

Ni - ...

L - ...

D - ...

Ne - Kyrie what's your PUBG username?

K - I thought we talked about this! You're not embarrassing me again are you?

Ne - I'm not!

Ne - I'm proud of you!

Ne - so tell them your PUBG username

** _~ After this Disco conversation, nobody dared to challenge Kyrie, a.k.a. ILUVMYDEVILBF007, in PUBG ULTIMATE, ever again,... ~_ **

** _~ TO BE CONTINUED ~_ **


	22. Day 20

_ **~ Meanwhile,... ~** _

**Vergil** \- Hmm,...

**You** \- Hmm?

**V** \- Adorable.

**Y** \- Sorry?

**V** \- Hmm, nothing.

**Y** \- Tell me, please.

**V** \- Breathtaking. You look,... so breathtaking.

**Y** \- Haha, how can you tell? It's dark in here.

**V** \- I can see everything.

**Y** \- Oh, I bet you do.

**V** \- Hmm.

**Y** \- ...

**V** \- ...

**Y** \- Ahh,...

**V** \- Hmm?

**Y** \- Ahh,... hmm,...

**V** \- Yes, dear? How do you feel?

**Y** \- You're heavy,...

**V** \- Oh. Am I too rough on my lady?

**Y** \- Well, if you could move your arm a bit,...

**V** \- Hmm, like this?

**Y** \- Hmm. Better.

**V** \- Hmm.

**Y** \- ...

**V** \- ...

**Y** \- Ouch! Vergil, please,...

**V** \- Please, what? Hmm, (Y/N)?

**Y** \- It hurts,...

**V** \- What hurts? This?

**Y** \- Ahh! That! Stop teasing, please,...

**V** \- Forgive me. I can't take my hands off you,...

**Y** \- Vergil, at this point,...

**V** \- Hmm, yes?

**Y** \- I'm gonna,...

**V** \- Hmm?

**Y** \- If you don't stop teasing I'll,...

**V** \- You're going to do what, my lady?

**Y** \- Ahh, I'm about to - !

**The person sitting next to you** \- ( In french ) Can you, please, be quiet? We're trying to watch here!

**Y & V** \- We're sorry.

**V** \- ...

**Y** \- ...

**V** \- What did we just get into?

**Y** \- Yeah, even your pinching doesn't work. I still feel sleepy,...

**V** \- Same.

**Y** \- ...

**V** \- ...

**Y** \- Oh, hey, at least Babu Frik is funny.

**V** \- Ah, the creature! Yes.

**Y** \- ...

**V** \- ...

**Y** \- So,...

**V** \- Hmm?

**Y** \- Who?

**V** \- Who, what?

**Y** \- Who shagged Palpatine?

**V** \- ...

**Y** \- ...

**V** \- My mind could not come up with a comprehensible answer to that riddle.

**Y** \- ...

**V** \- ...

**Y** \- I have so many questions,...

_ **~ And so, after watching Star Wars, SSSexy(Y/N) and Vergil Sparda just decided to go back home to binge watch the MCU to rid themselves of the mental image of someone shagging Palpatine in the Galaxy far, far away. ~** _

_ **~ TO BE CONTINUED ~** _


	23. Special Chapter Part 1

_ **~ Once upon a boring quarantine day, in the Devil May Cry Disco Group Chat ~** _

Nico - its true!😱

** _~ A few moments later ~_ **

Nero - What is?

Ni - The Ghost Movement is real!😱

Ne - What do you mean ghost movement?

Ni - Tell me the truth psycho

Ni - You and Kyrie have been playing that super popular game on switch now arent ya?!?!?!?!?

Ne - What super popular game? What the fuck r u talking about?

Ni - Ass!

Ni - I mean Animal Crossing!

** _~ A few seconds later ~_ **

Ni - AHA! So I’m right! YOU HAVE BEEN PLAYING ANIMAL CROSSING!!!!!!!!!!

Ne - SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Ne - Kyrie told me to play it ok?

Ne - Its wrong to refuse Kyrie!!!!!!

Ni - Yeah and what happened? The garage must be a mess by now and youre not even taking commissions! I texted and tried to call you many times but YOU’VE BEEN GHOSTING ON ME FOR ALMOST A MONTH!

Ni - Youve become a member of the Ghost Movement!

Ni - AAAARRGHHH!!!!!!!

Ne - Stop being a bitch Nico! Look

Ne -

Ne - Its so cute! You cant blame me for getting hooked!

Ni - LAME!

Ni - Mines better!

Ni -

Ne - WHOHOAHOA!!!! NOW WERE TALKIN!!!!

Ne - Ok hold on………

** _~ About a minute later ~_ **

Ne - Youre up Nico

Ni - What?

Ne - I said

Ne -

Ne - Youre up Nico

Ni - WHAT THE !?!?!?!?!?

Kyrie - Hey guys!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

K - Are we talking Animal Crossing now?

Ni - Yeah well

Ni - At least its easier than PUBG

Ne - AHA!!!!!! ANOTHER ONES HOOKED HERE!

K -

K - Heehee~🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶

K - My Island got 5 stars now❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Dante - Theres a sloth in here

Ne - DANTE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

Ni - Wait what sloth?

D - I said

D -

D - Theres a sloth in here!

D - HOHOHOHOHO!!!!!!

** _~ A few startled moments later ~_ **

Ni - No offense here man but

Ni - How were u able to buy a switch?

D - well u see I -

Vergil - He groveled before me like that scum that he is and begged me to lend him a huge sum of money to buy himself a switch and a copy of this

V - … wretched game for mortals.

D - Hey bro!😅

D - I didnt know youre here

K - I added him and (Y/N)😊

Ni - Hey Vergil! How’s Paris life with sexy(Y/N)?

(Y/N) - Hello guysss!!!! I miss you!!!

Ni - GGGGIIRRRRRLLLLLLLL!!! HOW U BEEN?!?!?!?!

Y - Great! I’m -

Y -

Y - Just chillin ;)

Ni - AHHH THATS WHY YOU HAVENT ANSWERED MY TEXT! YOURE ALSO A MEMBER OF THE GHOST MOVEMENT!!!!!

Y - 😅

Y - Sorry😅

Y - Forgive me?

Ne - Eh? Well we might as well change our gc name to Ghost Movement Team then

Ni - Shut up asshole Im the admin! Im in charge

D - Hey Verge! I know youre playing ;)

Ni - 😱

Ne - 😱

K - 🙈

D - Show us some caps! ;)

V - Silence, scum!

V - As you can see

V -

V - I’m reading.

Ni - 😱

Ne - 😱

K - 🙈

Y - 😊❤

D - Ehhhhh

D - Do u have any caps were ur smiling for a change

V - None!

…

…

…

V - Alright.

V -

V - Happy?!

Ni - 😱

Ne - 😱

K - 😱

Y - 😅🙈

D - Ok……… thats a surprise!

Y - Now, I showed you what you wanted to see.

V - If you don’t shut up now and let us sleep, I’ll come right there and slit your throats! All I see in my phone is your bloody Animal Crossing notifications!

Ne - Ahem

Ne - Brb! Gotta play!

K - Yeah me too! Bye!

Ni - I have to update my switch. I dont have that sloth yet

Y - Goodnight guys!😚❤

Y - Oh and Kyrie?

Y - Can I visit your island?

K - Sure thing!❤

D - Hey guys! Im just getting started! I havent showed you my sick sexy seaside bar yet!

…

D - Hey guys!

…

D - Aww come on!

…

…

…

V - DANTE!

** _~ After that, Dante never mentioned anything about his “sick sexy seaside bar” in their Disco gc ever again,… ~_ **

** _TO BE CONTINUED_ **

** _ _ **


	24. Special Chapter Part 2

_~ The next day, at The Devil May Cry Disco GC ~_

Lady - No! I look better!

Trish - Says who? Your dadddy?

L - SHUT THE FRICK UP!

T - NO! YOU SHUT UP!

Nero - Whats all this commotion about? Were tryna sleep here!

Kyrie - Guys what’s the matter?

Nico - Ohoho! Are my eyes deceiving me? Or are u 2 ladies fighting over Animal Crossing?

K - Animal Crossing?

Ni - Hon you should backread ;)

Ne - Not Animal Crossing again!!!

Ne - Dad’s gonna kill all of us!!!

…

…

…

Ne - OH NO HE’S ONLINE!!!!!!!!!!

Ni - 😱

Ne - 😱

K - Guys…..

K - Maybe you should not talk about this here…..

K - This gc is for work purposes…..

Dante - Nah he wont get mad

Ni - DANTE????

Ne - DANTE WTF??????????!!!!!!!!!

D - Right Verg?

…

…

…

D - See? Hes just reading everything

D - ;)

D - Come on ladies?

D - What are we fighting about?

L - About whose ACNH avatar looks better

T - I told you

T - My avatar looks better than yours!

L - You’re wrong!

Ne - 🤦♂️

D - Alright! Ladies! Calm down!

D - Why dont we settle this on a duel, huh?

D - What do you say? ;)

…

…

…

L - He’s got a point

T - Yeah he does. And I dont like it

Vergil - Settle your petty quarrels by whatever means necessary this instant, or else…

V - You know the consequences.

Ne - 😱

Ni - 😱

D - 😱

…

…

…

D - Ladies! You heard the man!

L - Alright Trish! It’s you and me! A duel of fashion!

T - You’re on! Bring your villagers! Let’s settle this

L - Kyrie, you be the judge

K - Okay…..

Ni - Does anyone have popcorn?

** _~ A few moments later ~_ **

K - ROUND 1 - Default Looks

T -

D - 😍

Ne - 😯

Ni - 👍

L -

D - 😍

Ne - 😯

Ni - ❤❤❤

K - ROUND 2 - Casual Wear

T -

D - 😍

Ne - 😯

Ni - 😯

L -

D - 😍

Ne - 😯

Ni - 😚❤

K - ROUND 3 - Going to the office

T -

D - 😍

Ne - 😯

Ni - 👍

L -

D - 😍

Ne - 😯

Ni - SASSY!!!!!

K - ROUND 4 - Cosplay

T - Aerith from Final Fantasy!

D - 😍

Ne - 😯

Ni - 😯👌👍

L - Chun Li! So I can kick everyone’s ass!

D - 😍

Ne - 😯

Ni - SEXY! SEXY! SEXY!

K - FINAL ROUND - High Fashion

T - Make way, peasants

D - 😍😍😍

Ne - 😯👏

Ni - 😯😯😯👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏❤

L - Midsommar, bitches!

D - 😍😍😍

Ne - 😯👏

Ni - 🤤🤤🤤 MY MAYQUEEN! AWOOOOO! 🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺🐺

T - Nico whose side are you really on, huh?!

Ni - 😅

L - Dante and Nero could you two stop being neutral and say I’m the best?!?!

T - WHAT. THE. FRICK?!?!?!

D - Alright! Ladies! Calm down!

D - We’ll let Verg decide

…

…

…

D - Verg?

D - Bro?

D - U still online

V - I’m here

D - So

D - Who is the fairest of them all?

V - The fairest of them all…

Ne - 😯

Ni - 😯

V - Is none other than…

D - 😯

Ne - 😯

Ni - 😯

V - (Y/N).

L - 😱

T - 😱

V - You two got nothing on her.

V - So be silent and let us sleep!

…

…

…

Ni - 😱

Ne - 😱

T - 😱

L - 😱

Ne - 🤦♂️

D - 🤦♂️

Ni - 🤷♀️

T - I think it’s not a good idea to ask Vergil after all

L - Yeah

D - Ladies youre both beautiful in my eyes!

T - Really?

L - Youre not lying?

D - Me? A liar? Not in a million years!

T - ☺️

L - 🙈❤

D - So

D - Whats your turnip prices?

D - I owe Tom Nook 2 million Bells.

D - I dont have any Bells left

D - hehe

D - 😅

D - A little help here?

D - Eh

D - Ladies?

D - Guys?

D - Anyone?

…

…

…

D - AWW COME ON!!!!

** _~ The next day, Dante’s 1000 pieces of turnips all rotted, that even the Nooklings refused to buy them, because it’s Sunday. ~_ **

** _~ TO BE CONTINUED ~_ **


End file.
